Modern Love

Cheating

I’ve done some investigating for you folks, and I found a few cheaters who were willing to anonymously admit the thought process behind their act.

Now, I’m here to throw my theories out into the world via newspaper about the one question that plagues us all when we are victims of a cheater and that is this: why?

People cheat to avoid confrontation.

Some people avoid any type of confrontation if at all possible, which explains why they would rather take their chances sneaking around than break up with their current significant other.

This explanation is probably more male-oriented in nature.  I say this because some men do whatever it takes to avoid any kind of quarrel, especially with a female.  That’s why they use little white lies because “it’s easier” than getting into argument because he told you that yes, honey, your butt actually looks enormous in those jeans. You should probably throw them out.

Men will tell us what we want to hear because to them, women are ticking time bombs of emotion and any other word they say could be the one that pulls the pin. To anyone, male or female, who is terrified of the confrontation, it is just easier to avoid it by being extra sneaky.  What they don’t know can’t set them off, right?

People cheat for the thrill.

Some people can only focus on the thrill and “forbidden fruit” aspect of doing something wrong and not getting caught. They are blind to the other person’s emotions being destroyed in the process.

Some cheaters don’t do it for the adrenaline rush, but solely because they want something different without giving up what they have.  Being cocky enough to believe they won’t get caught leads them to commit the love crime of cheating.

People cheat because they’re stuck.

People can get “stuck” in many different ways.  In one situation, the couple lives together.  The cheating party may or may not be unhappy in the relationship and has nowhere else to go or is perhaps stuck in a lease. So they take it upon themselves to move on without actually moving. They hide the cheating because who wants to break up with their significant other when you’re stuck living together? Awkward.

People can also get stuck emotionally.  They can’t decide who they want, so they put off making a definitive choice as long as possible.  However, the progression of each relationship does not stop during this procrastination of the inevitable.

People cheat because they’re afraid.
They are afraid to be alone.  They feel the need to have the next one lined up before they end their current relationship. They develop and continue to advance that new relationship to a point where they feel confident enough that the feelings are mutual. Unfortunately, the progression of the new relationship goes a little too far too fast.

There is one thing that all of these theories have in common. These people are cowards. The conversation might be scary or awkward at first, but all anyone needs to do to avoid these heart-wrenching, traumatizing situations that never end well is to man up, keep it real, be honest and just communicate.