The Ferris Physical Plant (EffPeePee), in conjunction with the Chemical Plant and the Emerald Hill Zone, recently released a university-wide memo detailing the overall salt use on Ferris sidewalks, parking […]
Tire Fire
SATIRE: Off The Record
Minor problems Jan. 18, 9:15 p.m., a freshman texts their 21-year-old friend and asks them to buy them alcohol for the party that night. Sorry kid, they’ve been drunk since […]
SATIRE: An era uncovered
Digital animation and game design freshman Tim Rocket stumbled upon what appeared to be an ancient relic half-buried in the melting snow somewhere near the Rock on the morning of […]
SATIRE: Tire Fire Confessions
I don’t know who Eisler is, and at this point, I’m too afraid to ask. I’m not sure if he’s some sort of celebrity, or a professor, or like a […]
SATIRE: Classifieds
Watch me sleep I am seeking a fellow student to sit with me on Mondays and Wednesdays as I nap in FLITE. I work late hours and don’t get much […]
SATIRE: Horror-scopes
Aquarius: Jan. 20-Feb. 18 Valentine’s Day is on the horizon and, unfortunately, your Tinder dates will all be busy that evening. Pisces: Feb. 19-March 20 Your Outlook email will self-destruct […]
SATIRE: An homage to home
Please stop 2019 “My inspiration for this exhibit is my sheer rage at this season and this city and this university” – Voss Artist: Bill Voss Medium: Mayonnaise
SATIRE: Boarding up his burrow?
As resolutions become old news, students are ready for their next thing to complain about as the snow blanketed Big Rapids Tuesday evening, Jan. 22. “I can’t believe there’s so […]
SATIRE: Home for the hellidays
Winter break is almost over, and many of you spent this time squeezing back into your childhood bedroom that your mom has turned into a Pure Romance office, sleeping in […]