Exactly what not to do

Some tips for things to avoid at Ferris State University

You always hear a lot of great advice about things to become involved in while you’re on campus, but here are some things to avoid while you’re at Ferris State University.

Don’t wear your Ferris lanyard around your neck: While this seems like the most reasonable way to carry around your lanyard, nothing screams “Freshman!” more than the tan lines left behind around your neck. Wearing your lanyard is equivalent to sporting a fanny-pack—logical and convenient, but socially unacceptable.

Don’t rent a study room at FLITE and sleep in it: The ratio of available study rooms at FLITE to students who need to study in one is poor. If you rent a room just to sleep in it, you will get pummeled by an Honors student who insists he can’t study in his individual room with enforced quiet hours.

Don’t expect classes to get cancelled…unless after 5 p.m.: FSU knows that its students are flawless drivers, so it doesn’t bother cancelling classes in the morning. However, it will sometimes cancel all classes after 5 p.m. How convenient is that?

Don’t underestimate the power of icy sidewalks: After exiting your residence hall to walk across campus in the winter, do a test to see how slippery the sidewalks are. Many times, FSU has not had the opportunity to salt the sidewalks, which in turn transform into an ice rink. I have been known to wear my track spikes to venture across this icy tundra.

Don’t search for a deeper meaning behind campus sculptures: There just isn’t one.

Don’t schedule 8 a.m. classes: For incoming freshmen, perhaps 8 a.m. classes don’t sound too terrible. You think to yourself “Wow, this is so much later than high school started!” However, as the college life begins to set in, you realize just how terribly early 8 a.m. classes really are.

Don’t jaywalk: FSU tickets people on campus who choose not to use crosswalks. Also, don’t assume that cars will stop for you, even if you do utilize the crosswalk. Pedestrians on campus don’t have the right of way. Someone once told me that those white lines for crossing the street are actually just used to measure how far the body flies.

Don’t go tubing in March: Just because Michigan is blessed with a random 80 degree day in March doesn’t mean the water has reached warm enough temperatures to go tubing. The amount of alcohol needed to be consumed to make the water feel warm will put you near death. Wait to brave the Mighty Muskegon until we have had several consecutive warm days in a row.