Words @ War: Battle of the Hipsters

Everybody hates hipsters. They’re the new Chris, except everybody talks about this show.

A quick laundry list of hipsters’ alleged offenses must be compiled: stylish plaid, thick glasses and their fashion in general; their effete nature and elitist taste; the desire to be “unique” that makes them all the same; their disdain for popular culture as a whole. That should take us to the end of a page.

Unfortunately, this skips over the arguments that “hipster” is an overused, misplaced, lazy insult and that society can’t agree on what a hipster is. Chad Kroeger assures us that a hipster is anyone who dislikes Nickelback; many people say simply wearing plaid and lenseless glasses does the trick. Actually, that about covers those.

Skipping over the style part for now, the first part tackled will be the effete nature and elitist taste. They’re so high and mighty on their music, their movies, their television and their books, all of which you’ve never seen because, neener neener, they’re better than you.
Well, maybe they are.

Not better than you, that’s ridiculous—but they put in work to find that indie rock band that really isn’t underground anymore and that movie that…well, many millions of people have seen. They put some work into finding those things, darn it, and they have every right to feel good about that.

They want to be “unique.” This criticism is just silly; we’ve been taught since a young age that being different is supposed to be a good. Now, just because they often fail and blend boringly into an overcrowded subculture shouldn’t be held against them. Like Russell Crowe, at least they tried.

The disdain for popular culture as a whole is a much harder condemnation to defend, especially for someone who eagerly encouraged radio malcontents to “take up the mantle of Ke$ha” just a few weeks ago.

That said, who knows how many episodes of “Jersey Shore” or minutes of LMFAO each of these alleged “hipsters” has been subjected to? A bit too much “I’m Sexy and I Know It” could drive anyone to the depressed, delusional corners of presumed superiority.

Also, they’re the ones missing out on pop culture’s best offerings with their universal shunning. We shouldn’t be hating hipsters—we should feel bad for them. Anyone without great pop songs in his or her life is a less happy person. We need to show them love and bring them back into the fold to create a happier, more harmonious world.

Circling back to their style, that defense is simple: Stylish plaid and thick-rimmed glasses are cool. Skinny jeans are harder to get behind, but they’ve been linked to so many different scenes over the years that pinning them solely on hipsters is dishonest.

Also, Taylor Swift wears thick-rimmed glasses. Taylor Swift is not a hipster, not even a little bit.

So, you see, the point’s been made quite clearly here, completely, unequivocally, and not at all satirically: The hipsters have every reason to feel good about themselves.