Ferris Anon

To celebrate my own final year here at Ferris State, I’ve decided to interview fellow seniors about their times here at Big Rapids. Under the cover of anonymity, I asked questions about people’s time here and all  they’ve experienced.

Torch: Before I start asking, let’s preface this with how many years you were in Honors?

Anon: I was in Honors for two years and have held a 3.42 GPA in a real science major.

Torch: So, let’s start out with how many people have you had sex with during your time here at Ferris?
Anon: Well, eleven in total, but six were all in one semester.

Torch: So between all those, where was the weirdest place you’ve had sex?

Anon: In my dorm room, but my window blinds were open and the lights were on in my room. Basically, at least two people in FLITE were busy studying and observing while I was busy not studying…

Torch: Shortest time from meeting a girl to having sex?

Anon: Five hours, but on two different occasions.

Torch: Worst thing you did at a party?

Anon: Pissed all over a bathroom at a party. All over their bathroom readers, magazines, floor, towels, etc.

Torch: Worst place you’ve puked on campus?

Anon: Sprinting out of a class on a Friday morning after I should have stayed home. Oh, and at the Rock. Luckily, it started making it’s way up as soon as I opened the door to the bathroom.

Torch: Best place to shotgun a beer?

Anon: My friends and I sometimes go out on a Tour de Shotgun. Basically, going around different locations in Big Rapids and as it sounds, shotgunning some beers. Locations included Woodbridge’s statue on the Quad, in front of Woodbridge’s tomb, the pedestrian bridge over State Street by Dairy Queen, under the water tower by the Williams Auditorium, the half roof over the Optometry Building, practice field tower and a couple other places.

Torch: Wildest night at Ferris?

Anon: Starting out by going to BWW for Fight Night, as tradition. Then, we headed to a CEOs and Corporate Hoes kegger. As we arrived, they started doing jell-o wrestling and the first bout of the night was a pair of twins; one of them was featured previously in the open blinds to FLITE answer. From there, it turned into an all-out brawl in the jell-o, turning into the most stereotypical party someone could pitch. Even though it was one of those “you had to be there” stories, that’s the wildest story that I could recall for myself.