Modern love

If you have to ask, he’s probably not into you

Recently, I’ve noticed a lot of my single, gay buddies have been on the prowl. All’s good, or at least it would be if they didn’t more-than-occasionally set their sights on straight men. Oy. I understand the justification; I mean, just because he looks straight, acts straight, and is macking on that girl doesn’t mean anything, right? Wrong.

The official term for this is “cruising”. Now, cruising isn’t always obnoxious and creepy, just most of the time. The types of cruising vary as well, ranging from “I’ll make a pass and see if he’s interested” to “I’ll invite him to the backseat of my car.” Now, while I don’t endorse cruising, I recognize the difference between the approaches: one is mostly innocent, the other is harassment. And with the varying types of cruising will come various results, ranging from a bemused “I appreciate it, but I’m straight” to getting knocked out.

There are many ways that a gay man can find someone actually interested in him. Looking for something long term? Try Ok Cupid, one of the best free online dating sites. Only interested in something that will be over by tomorrow morning? Try one of the various apps for “short-term” relationships. Point is, you have options.

I’ve seen cruising in action dozens of times, but not once have I seen it work out. Cruising relies on making assumptions based entirely on appearances and, trust me, just because they “look gay” doesn’t mean they are. So, next time you see that cute guy sitting alone at The Rock and decide today is the day to make your move, think before you make a move.