An apology to the readers

Since last Wednesday I’ve been getting everything from high-fives to threats of bodily harm over one highly offensive article about coffee.

I’m going to go more in depth, but in case you don’t get the chance to read the rest of this, here’s the sum of what I’m going to say: to those offended by what I wrote, I offer you my sincerest of apologies.

Of course, I was aware that my article contained more than a few less-than-fair comments directed at women – white women specifically. My thought was that these comments were so obviously hyperbolic that nobody would actually think I was serious. Well, a full week later, I realize that wasn’t the case. Many people thought I was entirely serious when I said that women who drink coffee were the “degradation of the human race” and a few other things on that order. And so here we are.

Also, some clarification. Some in retort to this apology are going to quote the part of the article where I said I wasn’t being hyperbolic. The hyperbole is my ranting about “basic white girls” and the various other comments I made about women, as well as the part about chemical dependency. I was not exaggerating when I said I really hate commercialized coffee. I don’t like the attitude that surrounds it, nor the amount of money it takes from small businesses. Looking back on it I most certainly should have written my piece about the coffee, not the drinker. Lesson learned. I have no negative feelings towards women based upon skin color, size or their gender. At all.

I used the stereotype of the “basic white girl” for comedy, and because it was something that I thought most people found humor in, both women and men. And perhaps they do. Perhaps the reason why that struck a chord with several of our readers was due to my handling of the stereotype. I apologize to you for the perpetuating of this negative stereotype. I realize that not only women drink coffee. It was an unfair accusation and one that, now that I know so many women were offended by, I’m sorry that I made in the first place.

I understand why my piece came off as highly judgemental. It certainly came off that way. I’ll repeat that it was written to be purposely hyperbolic and exaggerated, and thus not meant to truly pass judgment on anybody – but that probably doesn’t mean much. I said it and, intentional or not, I have to own up to it. I do not care if you drink casino online coffee or what kind of coffee you enjoy, Frappuccino or what have you. It’s your money, spend it as you please. I do care that we’re contributing to the corporate machine when we purchase from Starbucks and coffee chains like it but, of course, not everyone shares my concerns. Some people just want their coffee, and they don’t deserve to be berated for it.

Now, a few people called me out for wishing harm on those who drink coffee. I’m not sure where you get this from. I’m not sure where this came from, having read over the piece several times now, but, of course, it’s open to interpretation by everyone who reads it. So I apologize and state now that I don’t wish harm on anybody over something as arbitrary as coffee.

This apology will likely not convince everyone that I’m sorry for what I wrote. It has never been my goal to go out and truly offend anyone. I thought that most people would be able to tell that the article was largely unserious. The fact that this wasn’t the case is not a failing of the reader but of me as the author. Those who know me well enough to know I didn’t mean what I said thought the article was harsh but still funny and theirs were the voices I listened to. I realize now that I don’t write for my friends, I write for Ferris students and the greater Big Rapids community. My rants are not proper editorials and, as many have said, do not belong in the pages of this paper.

At the risk of saying it too often, I’ll conclude by again offering my sincerest apologies to those who took my article to heart. Your comments, even the ones that wished me harm, do matter. This paper means nothing if we don’t get feedback from the community we serve. I hope that from this point on you’ll consider the Torch as a collaboration of several well-meaning people and not judge the entirety of it based on my own misguided opinions.