This writer is annoyed with Facebook, and the reason why will amaze you

How many times have you logged on to Facebook and seen a row of status that say “can’t do this right now” or “not sure if I can handle this”? Oh, it happens everyday? Yeah, me too.

This is the problem with Facebook. It’s a cypher for not only the worst parts of the Internet, but also the worst parts of human nature as well. What is to be gained from posting whiney, vague statuses on the Internet? Even more so, what can you gain from replying to people asking you about said vague and whiney status with “I don’t want to talk about it”? Then don’t! I was giving you the attention you were looking for, why have you spurned me, vague and whiney friend?

But, perhaps the worst thing about Facebook is the ‘share’ function, allowing for the invasion of click-bait articles and Buzzfeed quizzes from the darkest, most inane parts of the Internet.

As somebody who intends to make a living off his writing, seeing every baity, over-shared article from Thought Catalogue or ClickHole makes me want vomit harder than the little girl in The Exorcist. Yes, they have sucked me in too. It’s those titles, man. “This clergyman married a dolphin. The reason why will bring you to tears!” Who isn’t going to click on that?

We’ve been fools, my friends; we’ve let Facebook have too much power. The only thing to do is have a mass exodus from Facebook. It was fun while it lasted guys, let’s all go back to Friendster.

But in all seriousness, the message here is watch what you post. In the same way your teachers will advise you from posting anything offensive or image damaging, I’m urging you not to post anything brain-rotting.

I probably shouldn’t care as much as I should about articles posted on Facebook, but I really can’t help myself. It’s not pathetic on the part of the people sharing, it’s pathetic on the part of the websites publishing half this crap. Where did these sites even come from? Is there really that much revenue in running a click-bait site and articles about “twenty dogs who can unicycle?” And if there is…then why am I working for a college newspaper?