Modern Love

Why the purity pledge is a thing of the past

The absence of abstinence?

Virgins in college are like modern-day unicorns. You never see them and you’re not sure if they even exist.

Today’s culture is saturated with sex. It’s everywhere; on TV, the internet, advertisements, magazines and even children’s movies have sexual undertones.

According to a 2012 survey by, only 3% of Americans wait until marriage to have sex. Even sexual education is built around the mentality that it’s going to happen anyway. Rather than teaching students not to engage in this extracurricular at all, students are being taught how to be safe about it.

Even the Christians are abandoning the idea. According to the 2014 State of Dating in America report published by Christian Mingle and JDate, 61% of Christians said they would have sex before marriage.

In all reality, abstinence may be a favorable idea for old fashioned folks, but it’s just not natural for human beings. Guess what? That’s okay!

Nowadays it’s a regular occurrence for young adults to test out the merchandise.

Try before you buy.

The culture we live in is all about the “I want it now,” attitude. Who needs a laptop when you have your cell phone and 4G? Life in our generation is sped up in that regard and others, including sexual romance.

Sex is a huge part of relationships and it can even tear marriages apart. There’s nothing more ironic than waiting until marriage only to find out that you have absolutely no sexual chemistry, which ultimately results in a divorce.

Maybe older marriages and generations could withstand that test. Maybe it shouldn’t matter whether or not couples “have it,” or not. But being human with primal needs, we often see it as a high priority to be with someone that is sexually compatible with us.

You’re not going to go out and buy the first car you see without at least test driving it and checking it out. You compare pricing and features of multiple prospects. It’s the same game. You need to have some experience to know what you like because odds are you’re not going to get it perfect on the first try.

Waiting until marriage might be an outdated value, but you can’t go wrong with waiting until you’re ready.

Just like you should discuss children, religion, where you both want to live and finances, sex is too big of a part of a relationship to leave to chance.

So don’t be ashamed to test the waters. It is, after all, human nature.