I don't vote

Why I don't care about voting

I’ve only voted once in my life and that’s because my girlfriend wrote all over my Facebook wall and metaphorically held me at gunpoint until I went to vote.

Since then, I refuse to vote.

I’m not saying my girlfriend is the reason I don’t vote. I’m saying that I don’t care about America enough to vote for anything.

I care about America about as much as I care about sports, which is not at all. There are very few things I care about in my life; my girlfriend, pizza, Star Wars and tea. I obviously care about more things, but you get the idea.

If I was given pizza for voting, then you bet your ass I’d vote. But sadly, pizza is not given to voters. Instead, we’re given a sticker. I can’t eat a sticker.

I didn’t vote this election. To be honest, I don’t know anything about what happened in this recent election except that one of the candidate’s names was Gary Peters. The only reason why I know that is because I’ve had to tell a majority of Ferris students that I’m not related to him. I was too busy working and doing things I actually enjoy to go vote. I will admit that voting did cross my mind, but ultimately, I just decided to go on with my life instead.

I’m not one of those people who don’t vote and complain about a specific candidate not winning. The way I see it, you can either vote and complain when your politician in semi-shining armor loses, or you can shut up about it. If you’re like me, then be the latter. We can all shut up together.

I actually don’t pay attention to politics at all. I think all politicians are a-holes.

The only thing I’d ever vote for in my life is if we should keep the Government around. I would vote that we get rid of the Government. Because the Government really isn’t that great at their job.

I’m not saying I’m an expert in anything related to politics, but I do know enough to realize that Capitalism sucks. And so does the Government.

When I think about the Government, I imagine that person in everyone’s family that won’t finish a game of Monopoly because they were losing or didn’t get their way or some other stupid reason.

If you like politics and voting, then that’s great. I’m not saying you’re wrong to vote and enjoy politics. I’m just saying that I hate voting and I hate politics