Modern Love

Dude, you’re so whipped

Whipped. Adjective.

1. To be completely controlled by your significant other (normally used as a derogative toward nice boyfriends.) Origin: misogynistic, cynical, and most likely single 15-25 year old men who are incapable of maintaining a stable relationship.
Disclaimer: Women and men alike can be considered “whipped” and may face the stigma I’m addressing in this article, no matter what your sexual orientation may be. However, the derogatory remark tends to be aimed towards straight men, so that is the perspective I’m taking for this article solely to make a point.
Just for argument’s sake, let’s clear one thing up.  Yes, it is entirely possible to be THAT guy that falls to every whim of his girlfriend, led around by a theoretical leash that’s attached to said girlfriend’s perfectly manicured hand.
If that person is you, then by all means, sit down and have a talk with your master and make it clear that you are not property and should not be treated as such.
However, there’s a stigma surrounding people who actually are just excellent partners and treat their significant other with kindness and respect. There is a difference between being controlled and having mutual respect.
For your own benefit, and because I get a sick joy out of organizing things, I’ve comprised a list to help you differentiate between being whipped or just being a wonderful boyfriend or girlfriend.
You’re whipped if you participate in one or more of the following three things:
You buy elaborate and overpriced gifts on a daily basis because she’ll get mad if you don’t.
You ditch your friends on the regular because she guilt-trips you into it.
You cut off all of your female friends, because she told you to.
You are not whipped, but just a good boyfriend if you participate in the following:

You occasionally surprise your girlfriend for no reason, with small things that she appreciates.
You go home to cuddle your girl to sleep after a night out because she truly is your best friend.
You each have your own friends of the opposite sex, but if there’s one particular homewrecker who blatantly hits on you and has no respect for your relationship, you no longer associate with her. Same goes for your girlfriend and guys she may be friends with.

Guys, if one of your friends is in a happy, respectable relationship where he and his girlfriend both carry on with their own lives, and you have the nerve to call him “whipped,” you’re what’s wrong with modern society.
Also, that’s why you’re single, and will most likely spend your Friday nights trying to impress the opposite gender by crushing beer cans against your forehead. Good luck with that, by the way.
So for all of you happy couples out there, props to you for ignoring the “whipped” comments and maintaining a respectful relationship.