The year is 2015. Arnold Schwarzenegger was cloned (along with many other rich people) and killed a lot of evil corporate jerks, Marty McFly traveled here to save his son, Rick Deckard became a Blade Runner and the first permanent colony has been established on the moon.
News flash, none of this has happened. Jaws 19 isn’t even in production (I’m not even sure if the Jaws series made it past 3, which is probably a good thing). Fiction made the future look and sound really amazing. 2015 was overhyped and I’m disappointed.
I started 2015 just like any other nerd; excited. Anyone who’s seen Back to the Future II was excited. I was excited for the flying cars, hoverboards, color changing hats, self-drying jackets, cloning and self-tying shoes. When I look around, I wonder why teens aren’t wearing their jeans inside out with their color-shifting hats and auto-adjusting and drying jackets. I mean, that’s the fashion of 2015, is it not?
None of this has happened yet. Granted, it’s only February and the future doesn’t happen overnight. But I have a feeling we won’t get any of these exciting gizmos in the near future (to be honest, most of the things from Back to the Future have been made, but they aren’t as exciting). But not all hope is lost. There is still a holographic light shining at the end of this tunnel.
A company in Massachusetts called Terrafugia (I never heard of it until a few days ago) has invented a car with collapsible wings capable of flight and they’re expected to be on the market this year. Dude, that’s so awesomesauce! How cool would it be to fly your car to class and work? Let’s just pretend that flying cars wouldn’t cause a lot of traffic issues. It’d be like we’re living in Star Wars!
The people need their talking garbage cans and I’m not talking about your noisy neighbor that listens to bad music that keeps you up at three in the morning. I’m talking about the garbage cans that move around so my lazy ass doesn’t have to get up and throw my stuff away. Plus, they would talk to me. I love talking to things that talk back to me, especially if they’re taking my garbage away.
The people want the future where $100 is seen as spare change, pizza only takes a couple of seconds to make and my drink comes out of the table. I want the future that feeds my impatience and laziness. I want the future that the Back to the Future series promised me.