What have we learned here?

A slightly satirical and opinionated view on "The State of Hockey."

Minnesota is commonly called the state of hockey, and after just one weekend visit there, I learned that the name is well deserved. Though I also learned a few other things during my stay in the land of 10,000 lakes, like…

1. The classic Midwest friendliness towards strangers that Minnesota is known for is a reality, with the only exception being belligerent, drunken Mankato fans that feel the need to remind Bulldog fans of MSU’s victory. Constantly. Perhaps someone should remind them where the aspirin is for the hangover headache they are sure to wake up with tomorrow.

2. Very few people in Minnesota know where Ferris State University is, yet nearly all of them know where to find the nearest pub or pond hockey tournament.

3. The brides of Minnesota wear goalie masks in lieu of bridal veils during their wedding ceremonies.

4. Fast food is quick and easy for grabbing a bite on the go. Still, it’s not recommended to eat it multiple times in one day just because it’s convenient for road trips. Especially when there’s only one bathroom on the bus.

5. ACT tests in Minnesota have a section for listing the current roster of the Minnesota Wild in its entirety, and no test taker has ever missed a point on it.

6. Even minor altercations are settled by dropping the gloves.

7. Most citizens in Minnesota care more about their +/- in beer league than they do about their credit score.

8. The penalty for tripping on a breakaway can be punishable by death, but most offenders just get charged with two minutes in the penalty box.

9. All Minnesotans drive Zambonis to work everyday. They don’t make very good time, but there are very few traffic accidents, and it ensures that there is plenty of fresh ice to play street hockey on in the winter months.

Okay, some of these may have been slightly exaggerated, but the fact remains that Minnesota is heaven for all things hockey, and the trip is well worth it for fans of the sport.