Modern Love

When am I going to meet my soulmate?

Thanks to the pop culture universe, we have all asked ourselves this at one point or another. Who will be the Ross to our Rachel? The Pam to our Jim? The Derek to our Meredith?

I will preface this by saying that people have told me that I have a weird take on the universe and love, but it doesn’t seem so crazy to me.

I think there truly is a soulmate in the world for everyone. Maybe I’m just not jaded enough yet or my glasses are rose colored by the current state of my own personal life, but I think every person has another person who compliments them in every sense of the term.

A soulmate is supposed to be somebody who challenges you. They wake you up and push you to think about the world in a more abstract way. In many cases, it feels like you’ve known them forever, and suddenly there’s a shift; the things that seemed important before just don’t anymore.

In many cases, it isn’t meant to last forever. It burns too brightly and too intensely for that. The same way they appeared when they were supposed to, they leave when they must.

A soulmate can be a friend or a family member. It’s somebody who you connect with in a way that you have never felt with anybody else. The misconception is that it’s going to be someone you fall in love with and get married to and ride off into the sunset with. That isn’t always the case.

If you want somebody to spend time with and share yourself with in a mutual way–that’s a life partner. It won’t be as intense, but it will be comfortable and familiar. Warm. The foundation of this relationship is built on mutual feelings of trust, understanding and respect.

You share values with your life partner and you get along like best friends. With them, there is a drive to cement the relationship through things like marriage and starting a family. This is typically what people imagine when they think about what a spouse is.

Despite the discrepancies between the two types of relationships, your soulmate can be your life partner and it is possible for one to grow into the other over time. When that happens, the only way to describe it is mindboggling.

So the answer to that burning question above is frustratingly simple: when you’re supposed to. All you can do in the meantime is make sure that you’re happy with yourself, keep the faith and have a happy Valentine’s Day.

Did you like this column? This isn’t the first time a staff member has written about affairs of the heart. To see more stories like this one, click here.