Torch confessions: Facebook memes

I have been given more opportunities by Facebook to express some feelings without saying a word. Finally.

“Sad” is a reaction I’ve been waiting for to hide my emotional awkwardness in massive social situations like Facebook. I do feel genuinely for friends and family, I’m just awkward at expressing this over Facebook when we might not have spoken face to face in a few years. Typed messages are the most common times to come across as insensitive, and I blame it on the way I was raised as a traditional Midwestern stoic.

The “haha” reaction will probably be my favorite. I generally don’t like posts unless they’re funny, dirty or clever, so the icon of the little yellow face laughing his non-existent ass off will be close to my new profile picture on Facebook. Now I can “haha” at memes without having to type it out. Amazing!

Facebook was a little late with the “love” reaction, since Valentine’s Day has come and gone. But when a simple “like” doesn’t begin to express how madly in love I feel with the person posting or the post itself, I can now send a cute little heart that says “I love this post.” I feel like this could be overused in the coming days. And guys, let’s be real: it’s not an opportunity to send a “dick pic” if your crush loved your post.

“Wow” is something I’ll use in the way of “Wow! That’s amazing,” “WTF! That was weird!” or “Wow! She’s hot!” I don’t see much other use for the new reaction. Maybe women will use it in a similar way on their newsfeeds to talk about guys. All I can say for now is “wow” might be the most pointless reaction. Doge can say wow just fine, and usually does several times in one meme.

Now I’ll show you my dark side.

I’m igniting my sarcasm and putting awful memes on full-blast with the new “angry” reaction. I’m ironically addicted to making sarcastic remarks, obscene word art and replying with the most stupidly arrogant memes. This is my unhealthy way of dealing with outright lies and misinformation on my newsfeed.

I cast a wide net for pages to follow because I like to be informed. I read far-right gossip like the Conservative Tribune and far-left propaganda like Alternet and most everything I can find in-between. In this age of the meme, friends of friends might be duped into posting something absurd and a friend will like or repost. Then there it is, waiting for a comment on my newsfeed. It happens. However, when something is so blatantly false or a quote I search for doesn’t exist, the offender is in my crosshairs. I’m sending them a word art penis for this reason: as a symbolic message to quit waving their hyper-inflated self-righteousness around. And now accompanied by the new angry reaction.

For more Torch confessions, click here.