Halloween is not that cool

The stepping stone to better holidays

We have a lot of new staff at the Torch so naturally we went around and introduced ourselves in our first meeting. We said our names, majors, years and what our favorite holiday is. An estimated 65 percent of us said Halloween. This is ridiculous.

First of all, no good horror movies came out this Halloween. Ouija sucked so bad. Second of all, costumes are a huge nuisance. If you don’t dress up, you are looked at as some Halloween version of the Grinch. But if you choose to wear one, you either have to spend money on a useless outfit or you throw together a makeshift Charlie Brown costume and people will mistake you for Pikachu all night (that’s what happened to me).

screen-shot-2016-11-02-at-8-48-49-amDon’t get me wrong, any excuse to go out and have a good time is just fine by me. But when I am at Shooters my preference is to dress like a normal person. Does this make me a boring person? I guess that’s for you all to decide.

I know Halloween is over but for next year I have a few ideas to improve this inferior holiday.

If you are going to dress up, put together a wicked cheap rig that still looks okay. No inflatable costumes, no onesies and definitely no Pokemon characters.

When handing out candy, only give chocolate. Why does anybody give anything besides chocolate? Mini Snickers are the same price as Starbursts and they are at least 200 percent better.

Cancel trick-or-treating. Buy your kids a Kit-Kat from the gas station and watch a scary movie. Trick-or-treating is a nuisance.