Bulldog Mania

The Torch’s resident professional wrestling expert gives his picks for which Bulldogs he’d like to see in the squared circle

The ultimate thrill ride known as WrestleMania 33 took place this past Sunday, April 2, captivating an audience of sports entertainment fans from all over the globe.

At the annual event, you see faces of the future, such as the “Big Dog” Roman Reigns, the dominant up-and-comer, comparable to Ferris State’s own up-and-coming “Big Dog” in Ferris State volleyball’s Allyson Cappel.

You also see familiar faces such as the Undertaker, the stalwart phenom, defending his yard year after year before riding off into the sunset, much like Bulldog hockey’s own Gerald Mayhew did in the 2016-17 season.

With another WrestleMania in the books, I can’t help but imagine what kind of characters and matches Ferris athletes would be associated with.

Two of the greatest of all time, Ric Flair and John Cena, are tied with 16 World Title runs apiece, more than any other WWE Superstar in history. Similar to Flair and Cena, Bulldog hockey Head Coach Bob Daniels is the winningest man in his organization’s history, bringing hustle, loyalty and respect to the rink every day.

Speaking of hustle, only the hardest working WWE Superstars can hit home runs like Bulldog softball’s Lexi Hongisto. I’d wager that with a bat like Hongisto’s, she could fair well in one of WWE’s tables, ladders and chairs matches where two-handed weapons are a girl’s best friend.

You can’t have a WrestleMania without appearances from big-time celebrities such as The Rock, Ronda Rousey or even Snoop Dogg. Similar to the Showcase of the Immortals, you never know when New Orleans Saint Jake Lampman or New York Jet Jason Vander Laan will pop up in Big Rapids.

Tag-team wrestling in the WWE has seen some of the greatest brother duos team up to win tag-team gold, from The Usos to The Hardy Boyz to Kane and Undertaker. I wonder if any of those teams could take on the inseparable Bulldog hockey brother duo of Drew and Tyler Dorantes? And of course, their tag-team name would have to be The Brother Puckers.

Every year at WrestleMania, the main event consists of the greatest Superstars the company has to offer, such as Brock Lesnar, Stone Cold Steve Austin and Triple H.

In my dream, for the Ferris Wrestling Entertainment (FWE) main event, I’d love to see Andy “The Beardless Wonder” Bronkema take on Tony “All I do is Win” Annese in a steel cage match for the Bulldog National Title. A guy can dream, right?

It turns out the wrestling world and the Bulldog world aren’t too far apart. Eat your vitamins and say your prayers, Dawgs, and you, too, may grow up to be a WWE Superstar one day.