It’s the season of love, which means the campus has officially turned into open hunting grounds.
Unfortunately, not all college students have matured past high school and the dating pool at Ferris is just as deep as the kiddie pool you played in when you were three.
Now I am not a pessimist—if you found someone amazing at Ferris, I salute you. But single Bulldogs have to be on the constant lookout for a breed called f-ckboys. I am also not sexist by any means. I fully believe that a f-ckboy is not restrained by gender. Ladies, or anyone interested in men, we have a problem on our hands. Again, this term is not restrained by gender, even if I use ‘he’ and ‘she’ pronouns. Simply put, they are basically just very talented players.
So how can we avoid them? After discussing this with my friends, I have compiled a survival guide that should get you through the semester.
They might be a f-ckboy if:
10. They could definitely be defined as a “momma’s boy” but they lack a respect for women. Ironic, I know, but not uncommon. No one will ever rank higher than his mom but women are objectified to a great extent.
9. He still dresses like a high schooler. OK, so when is the last time you’ve worn those brands that you were obsessed with in high school? I’m talking about the Hollister T-shirts and the bro tanks—you know the look.
8. He is obsessed with his self-image. At first, you might find this extremely attractive. He works out and has the body to show for it. But you start to notice that the only pictures on his Instagram are the ones of him shirtless, flexing his muscles.
7. He uses pictures of you to make someone else jealous. You’re on a date with this guy and you barely know him. Yet, here he is taking a picture of you and putting it on his Snapchat story. But then, a couple hours later, his phone is blowing up because his ex is jealous. He will do this when he dumps you, too. Just ignore him.
6. He describes all his exes as “crazy.” Dude, we know that’s not true. “Crazy” is the adjective men come up with to say, “I treated her like crap and made her crazy.” He might have a few crazy exes but not all of them.
5. He thinks he is God’s gift to women. Yup, women worship him and he knows it. He believes he can get any girl he wants and he may even welcome the challenge. Maybe you’re the type of person who usually doesn’t attract f-ckboys and he might say that he likes you because you’re ‘mature’ and you have your ‘life together,’ unlike those ‘other girls.’
4. He might say he’s a feminist but he isn’t body positive. You’re a strong, independent person and he knows that the best way to impress you is to say that he supports you in those beliefs. Yet you find him body shaming other people—perhaps not you but the people around him.
3. He doesn’t introduce you to his friends. OK, so you might know his roommates and maybe like one friend but he won’t introduce you to anyone he doesn’t have to.
2. He says the romantic things you hear in the movies but doesn’t act that way. Knowing exactly what you want to hear is just part of his game. He will say things so sweet that it sounds like a line from a rom-com. It is a line. If it sounds out of place, it probably has zero meaning behind it.
1. He says he isn’t like other guys. Well duh, like he’s going to admit to it? Even if you confront him or ask him about it, he will say things like, “You just have to believe me.”
Don’t give up on love just yet, Bulldogs. Real, honest people are out there. Just be patient and love yourself enough to know that you deserve better than f-ckboys.
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