Column submitted by Kip Biby
About the author: Hey, my name is Kip Biby. I graduated from Ferris in 2017 with a degree in psychology. I worked for the Torch for two years in a few roles, most notably the opinions editor and podcast manager. I now live in Chicago. I spend my days being fanned by a huge leaf and being fed grapes like all mega-successful Ferris grads.
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When I graduated from Ferris I made a conscious choice not to be the type of guy who constantly returns to campus to relive the old glory days. It’s important to spend your time foraging ahead instead of looking back. But in life there are times where one needs to temporarily abandon your convictions for the greater good. That is what I am doing now by writing this op-ed. I had two years of working at the Torch to write this article but unfortunately I never got around to it. I guess I was too busy writing other groundbreaking articles about how much I hate parades and what not. Anywho, here is a long overdue list of the seven best Christmas songs ever recorded. These answers are final and are not up for debate.
Actually real quick before I start I want to say something. Baby It’s Cold Outside should not be played on the radio. Not because its offensive, but because it has nothing to do with Christmas. Look up the lyrics. Christmas is not mentioned once. For all we know the duo going back in forth is hanging out in mid-February. Christmas songs should be about Christmas. Calling Baby it’s Cold Outside a Christmas song is like calling It’s Getting Hot in Here a song about the Fourth of July because they mention that it’s hot.
7. Jingle Bell Rock by Brenda Lee
Christmas is a time to party and this is a party song. There’s no better way to celebrate the birth of Christ than a swingin song about presents, mistletoe and trees.
6. Christmas Wrapping by the Waitresses
Christmas Wrapping is a scarcely played song on the Christmas radio stations. That may be a part of the appeal. I don’t know about you but after listening to a Christmas station for a couple days I get so sick of Rudolph and Frosty my holiday spirit takes a sharp decline. This ballet of the struggling working professional looking for love during the Holidays brings us back down to earth.
5. Sleigh Ride by The Ronettes
The Ronettes rule whether its August or December. This song paints a perfect picture of what we all love about the Christmas season and does it in way only the Ronettes can.
4. Last Christmas by Wham!
I am always on the lookout to find an excuse to listen to Wham! without being embarrassed. This song gives me the excuse I need. Taylor Swift’s version is pretty good too. But she’s no Wham!
3. Someday at Christmas by Stevie Wonder
Another song you don’t hear that often. I honestly can’t imagine why this gem isn’t played more because it is a beautiful song about peace on earth and stuff.
2. Happy Xmas (War is Over) by John Lennon
Christmas is a time for peace and cheer and Happy Xmas relays this in a beautiful way. It’s a song full of gorgeous layers and meaningful lyrics.
1. Wonderful Christmastime by Paul McCartney
So many of the Christmas songs we hear on the radio are remakes but Wonderful Christmastime is sharply original. The lyrics are all about being together with the ones we love and just having a nice time. Love it. Also this song gets bonus points for making good use of the synth, an instrument that is criminally ignored in the genre of holiday jingles.
To submit a letter to the editor, email Editor in Chief Megan Lewton at fsutorcheditor@nullgmail.com.