Now or never

An open letter to the new and old

As graduation rounds the corner, I’m filled with a feeling of excitement and a hint of regret.

You see, I’ve been working for the Torch for the past two and a half years and have loved every second of it. However, I can’t help but kick myself when I think about how I could’ve spent the past four years here instead of two.

Being a freshman in college — as you may have read in a previous opinion of mine — filled me with a feeling of self-doubt. I didn’t know what I wanted, and I let that paralyze me for a while.

It was until a previous editor in chief came into my journalism class that I first heard of the Torch.

“We are always looking for more people,” was about the gist of the conversation.

I love writing. I always have. To potentially get paid to write and be published seemed like a dream come true. So, I leapt…

…I grabbed an application…

…I filled it out…

…and I never turned it in.

“Why would they want to hire me?” I’d ask myself. “What makes me think I’m good enough?”

The application sat on my desk for weeks, and eventually, got thrown out along with my dreams — in the trash.

It wasn’t until I met with my adviser a few years later, when I needed a two-credit internship, that I had heard of the Torch again.

“The people are really nice,” she said.

Now, with not only the want, but the need to visit their office, I decided to apply again. This time, I turned in my application.

After a short interview with their editor in chief at the time, I was accepted as an interim reporter for the remainder of the fall semester. This meant, yes, I worked for free, but I was able to get my name out there, in print, and share my ideas with people who had similar creativity.

Fast-forward to Wednesday, April 24, when I had my final meeting with them. Everyone was laughing and planning for the future, and I just sat back and enjoyed the view.

It was a fun time working my way up to lifestyles editor and having a chance to show myself that I have what it takes to work in this field.

Still, I can’t help but kick myself thinking I could’ve discovered this passion sooner.

And with that, I’m thinking of those students who are new on campus and thinking about an RSO, a part in a play or an on-campus job they want to be a part of. I’m thinking of the students who will soon become graduates and are holding themselves back from applying to the job they want because they think, “Who am I to try?”

Never be afraid to try.

College is made to break boundaries, make mistakes, have fun and find a world outside of your comfort zone. Unfortunately, I let my own insecurities get in the way of that.

So, as a certified almost-college-graduate, I beg of you: try.

If not for me, then for the you you will soon be in the next few years, enjoying the view of where you’ll be, thinking you could’ve been there sooner.