Finding yourself first

Growing on your own is more important than finding 'the one'

Imagine breaking up with the person you’ve dated since high school and realizing that you wasted time focusing solely on the relationship and not yourself.

According to Brandon Gaille Marketing, in 2014, only 2% of marriages were “high school sweethearts.” It’s also been found the likelihood of divorce increases for these “sweethearts.”

I’ve heard stories about high school lovers that didn’t last long after they graduated because they grew apart. More importantly, they grew up.

In high school, teenagers are busy getting into relationships and falling in and out of love repeatedly. While that’s a natural part of growing up, I think they’re too invested in making sure they find “the one” as soon as possible. They forget the significance of being in high school and being young.

Scientists have discovered that people don’t fully mature until the age of 25; both the body and the brain are still developing before then. There is still much growing up to do after high school. Teenagers and young adults have opportunities to experience more of what life has to offer.

I spent all four years falling in love with boys and hoping they felt the same. I got into relationships and became obsessed with the idea of love, finding the one I thought I was going to marry. However, none of those relationships lasted more than a year because, after some time, we realized we weren’t the same people we originally fell in love with.

When I was in high school, I wasted my time and experience searching for my potential life partner. While I learned from those past relationships, I missed out on the chances to explore my identity.

High school is meant for experimentations. It’s the time when you slowly begin figuring out your interests, the type of people you like and if you’re even ready for a commitment. High school is about making mistakes, learning from them, and having fun while you do so.

If someone chooses to date in high school, go for it. Just remember that the first, second, or even the third person you date is not the “end-all, be-all.” One day, life will transition to the next round of personal developments someone will go through.

People are always changing, becoming a different version of themselves every day. The person you fell in love with back in high school is not the same person who walks around today. Neither are you.

Take the time to understand yourself and what you want. There’s no rush trying to meet “the one” when you have so much growing up to do yet.