Move-in blues

A satirical outlook on moving into the dorms

It is your first day at Ferris. You drive up to the entrance of your dorm, ready to move into your new home. You have spent all summer waiting for this moment. What you do not realize is that you are about to spend the next two hours experiencing a form of hell you didn’t know existed: Move-In Day.

Let’s start with the first issue you face as a newcomer: parking. You want to park right in front of the entrance for easy access to your building. The issue is everyone else is thinking the same thing. Not to mention, some residence halls have no options for parking near their doors. You ultimately find yourself parking in a lot far away from the front door; making your move in an even more time consuming process.

You park your car and carry some of your possessions through the entrance and into the building. You now face your next obstacle: the ever-gloomy stairs. Some of you might be lucky enough to get a room on the ground floor; allowing you to avoid this issue, but many will not be so lucky. You find yourself staring at dozens of stairs and thinking about all the heavy objects you will have to precariously haul up these steps. Mini fridges, loft beds, televisions, microwaves; these are just some of the things you might have to lug up in the summer heat.

This will not be the final issue you face, but it will be the last one listed here: moving furniture. You enter your dorm room and immediately take in the layout of your new home. This issue does not apply if you like the layout of your room, but if you do not, you may find yourself moving some things around in pursuit of the perfect layout. You will break into a sweat, you will have to keep things from toppling over and you will have to be careful not to scratch up the floor because that would get you fined for property damage.

These are issues that plague college students around this time every year, and they will continue to plague us for years to come. If you or a loved one had to deal with this hardship recently, you should be entitled to a hug or at least a pat on the back. We understand your pain.