Don’t be scared to know what the stars have in line for you!

Read your completely correct horror-scope. 

Aquarius: Jan. 20-Feb. 18: Watch out for interdimensional portals, they are out to get you and only you. We don’t know who they are, but they are in fact out to get you.  

Pisces: Feb. 19-March 20: This Halloween is your Halloween, you’re the pumpkin leader.  

Aries: March 21-April 19: Don’t, just fucking don’t. 

Taurus: April 20-May 20: Now is the time to tell your crush to do that couples Halloween costume, of a moth and a lamp.  

Gemini: May 21-June 20: Go to that Halloween party, the worst that can happen is that you’ll throw up on your roommate. They’ll only bring it up to everyone you bring over for the rest of the year, nothing too bad.  

Cancer: June 21-July 22: No one is going to get your Halloween costume, stop being so pretentious. It doesn’t make you better than anyone.  

Leo: July 23-Aug. 22: Your astronomy professor is totally not a werewolf. The guy in the front row, closest to the corner totally is though.  

Virgo: Aug. 23-Sept. 22: It’s time to stop with the pop and lock, and time to pop in to your classes, attendance is 20% of your grade remember. 

Libra: Sept. 23-Oct.22: Do, just do you. No one can stop you, at least not on Halloween.  

Scorpio: Oct. 23-Nov. 21: Watch out for other Scorpios, as there can only be one.  

Sagittarius: Nov. 22-Dec. 21: Halloween is the perfect time to call open the dark forces so you can pass that one class.  

Capricorn: Dec. 22-Jan.19: Being a werewolf can be rough, but you make it work. Dropping out at this point might be a good idea, you’re not going to pass that chemistry class.  

*The stars are not liable for any result of injury, illness, lycanthropy, highlander style fights, ghosts, ghouls, dark forces trying to take over New York or interactions with timeline cops.*