I didn’t know what to write about when the Torch asked me. Too many ideas came to mind as I had recently returned to campus.
With all the time I was away, I had ideas of what I wanted to do when I came back. My struggles in the previous two years at Ferris were me putting others before my own needs.
My grade point average suffered, and my mind was constantly uneasy and I wasn’t utilizing it the best. My time was all over the place with classes and organizations.
The idea when I came back to Ferris was that I was not going to talk, act or dress like anything where I came from. My second idea was that no one had my best interest at heart.
Being back on campus I experience the most trouble from people who look like me. I didn’t come back from the hood to get hate from my own people.
My aunt tells me this is called “crabs in a bucket.” When one crab climbs up, the others pull it down.
All eyes were on me, my movements and actions were being watched. I started noticing how others reacted. I planned my choices accordingly whether in organizations, with friends or in classes.
I paid attention to everyone soaking up the personalities of others, not allowing anyone or anything to bring me down. I’ve seen Black men afraid to stand up for what is right and fall into the hype. I’ve witnessed Black women becoming more independent, headstrong and successful than Black men.
This is what I’ve witnessed at Ferris. We can blame white people for so much but when are we going to take accountability?
We have the belief that Black culture is the best and how we’re used and popularized. We like to bring up white girls with braids, what about Black girls with weave and blonde hair? We like to talk about Black Lives Matter, but what about when you see a Black man get shot by another Black man? We don’t even march for that.
We can point out racism, but we hate each other more. There has been colorism for so long between light-skinned and dark-skinned people. From divine nine fraternities that didn’t accept people with darker skin colors to house and field slaves.
I’m not defending the injustices or negating achievements, only the miseducation we continue to believe.
Outsiders are not only oppressing us as well as ourselves. I don’t have a dream my reality is too harsh, I must “stay woke.”