On Monday, Feb. 26, I sat in the empty Torch office in tears.
In our last edition, I helped lay out and put together our Black History Month Special Edition. This edition led me to question my own design abilities more than I ever have before.
Ever since I started college in the fall of 2022, I have been experiencing severe self-doubt. I have always had the fear of “not making it” in my chosen profession. However, recently it has been getting worse.
Self-doubt is a normal thing, lots of people experience it. According to MindDoc, most people will experience some sort of self-doubt in their lives.
Self-doubt is defined as the lack of confidence in ourselves and our abilities.
I won’t lie and say that I don’t play any part in my self-doubt. It is true that, in college, I have procrastinated here and there because of my mental health. However, when you’re already feeling down and feel bad about yourself and your work, it becomes a seemingly never-ending cycle. One that I have been stuck in for a while now.
After I left the Torch office that night, I was kept awake by my anxious thoughts. I felt like a poser to the whole Torch staff. Then I remembered that even though I feel this way every time I make a mistake or feel doubtful, my coworkers and bosses do not feel the same.
I have been called “Master of InDesign” in our slideshows by our Editor-in-Chief Jessica Oakes.
I’ve been given kudos from our advisor Dr. Garrett Stack.
I’ve even had our sports editor Dylan Rider share his excitement with me about layout ideas.
They may not know it, but everyone here has helped me realize that it’s okay to make mistakes. I’m still learning and that’s what helps me grow as a designer.
I know now that I need to get myself out of the procrastination slump I have been in. This means that the sooner I start improving my self-confidence, the more I can begin putting in my 100% to everything I do. This way, I will begin to fight away my own self-doubt and break the cycle I have been stuck in.
At the end of the day, we as people are constantly improving in our careers. We will never stop learning.
Don’t be too hard on yourself right now because, one day, you will be able to look at where you started and where you are now, and you’ll begin to realize it is all a part of the process.`