It’s been on my mind about who has the best burger in town for a while now.
I love a good cheeseburger. A lot of people do. The art of a cheeseburger is an incredibly American idea. Any stereotype of an American has a burger associated with it somewhere.
It seems that I am no better than the stereotype. In three days, three friends and I tried seven burgers from seven different bars in Big Rapids. Our rating system varied from person to person (either a scale of 1-5 or 1-10), but the rankings stayed quite similar. For our ratings, we took note of the taste, its appearance and how much it’ll cost you.
Before we get into it, let’s set the ground rules. First, the burger has to be from a bar. The establishment can be a restaurant, but if there’s no bar to accompany it, no dice. Second, no chains and or fast food restaurants. This one fits a little bit with rule one, but I want the epitome of a small town that I cannot get anywhere else. Finally, it’s gotta be a basic cheeseburger. Whatever that entails is decided by the restaurant, but it has to be pretty much a basic burger.
Also, days two and three were done by my lonesome. This means that day one (so five of the seven burgers) are the only ones that were ranked by three others. Keep in mind that none of us are burger aficionados. Our opinions are not more important than any other patrons. At the end of the day, this was purely done for fun.
Our first stop was at Schuberg’s Bar and Grill, a place known for its burgers. Their basic burger is a $9 creation with ketchup, mustard, olives, onion and pickles. It’s not surprising that it tasted good, as it scored between a 3.5/5 and a 4/5 for us. However, the appearance just wasn’t there and that’s reflected in the 2/5 to the 3.5/5 range it got. Bad by no means, but not the best we had.
Cranker’s Restaurant and Brewery came next on our journey. We were much more pleased with Cranker’s $12 burger’s appearance than our last stop. The proportional build of the burger, lettuce, onion and pickles earned it a range of 3.5/5 to 4/5. It was the taste that sullied our rating. The burger itself left a lot to be desired, carrying a charred aftertaste that didn’t sit right. This resulted in our taste ratings being between a 1/5 and a 2/5.
The next establishment took us off guard. Szot’s Bar and Grill offers a $7.50 burger with onions, lettuce, pickles, ketchup and mustard. Both our appearance and taste ratings ran high on this one. Appearance scored a 3.5/5 or higher, while the taste test received a 4/5 or above. With our lowest-priced burger of the hunt, we did not expect this to score so highly with us.
Sawmill Saloon was our penultimate stop on day one. We nearly missed a burger from here, as they had just closed their kitchen. A massive thank you to their staff for being willing to cook us up one. This burger ends up in the middle of the pack, however. The sandwich, which ran at a $8.21 price and had onions, lettuce, pickles, ketchup and mustard, scored between a 1.5/5 and a 2.5/5 on appearance. The taste rated a little better, scoring at a 3/5 to 3.5/5.
Gypsy Nickel Lounge, our final stop of day one, divided us the most. The appearance score of their $13.99 burger meal was near unanimous, fetching a 5/5 from three of us. The toppings of this burger included lettuce, tomato, onion and mayo. For the taste, it ranged from 2/5 to 3/5. That’s not a large divide numerically, but it affected where my friend ranked Gypsy Nickel in the final standings.
For these last two stops, this is where I was the only one to try them. The sixth stop was Paz Pub and Grill. For me, this burger defined what I considered “in the middle.” Both appearance and taste collected a 3/5 from me. Not bad, but not at all the top, especially with an $11.99 price tag.
To end this three-day journey of beef consumption, Star Shooter’s Bar and Restaurant was my last stop. Their basic cheeseburger is deluxe, which comes with two patties. This is the most different aspect between all seven burgers eaten. This one is in the upper echelon for me. The appearance was a 5/5. It was one of the best, if not the best, looking burgers. The taste did its job and got a 4/5 there. It’s definitely worth the $8.
Before I get into the final ranking, both mine and my friends, I’d like to acknowledge subjectivity and a possible shortcoming.
These rankings are not definitive. Food is one of the world’s simplest joys. Different palates are everywhere, making this entire article an opinion piece. Also, not everything in cooking is consistent. All it takes is a cook having an off night for something to be different from the norm.
In my friends’ final rankings, all three had Szot’s as No. 1 and then Schuberg’s as No. 2. Spots three through five varied. Two of the friends had Sawmill at No. 3 while the other had Gypsy Nickel in third. Sawmill, Gypsy Nickel and Cranker’s all received a fourth place ranking each. Finally, Cranker’s received two fifth-place finishes while Gypsy Nickel got one.
Keeping my list separate, as I have two more joints compared to my friends, here are my final rankings in order: Szot’s, Shooter’s, Schuberg’s, Gypsy Nickel, Paz’s, Sawmill and then Cranker’s.
With these rankings, our three-day excursion into the best beef in Big Rapids comes to a close. When was the last time you consumed seven different burgers in 72 hours? Believe it or not, it’s a good time.
Opinions editor Jackie Moglia contributed to the reporting of this article.