Learning to be content with doing things on your own isn’t just okay, but it’s essential to building confidence, self-awareness and genuine enjoyment of life.
It has taken me so much time to understand that oftentimes in life, we are going to be alone, and we have to make do with what time we have already, making sure we are living it to the fullest.
So many people in society are going into relationships, are seeking a relationship, or even have gone into a relationship when they aren’t even comfortable in their own skin. I am definitely guilty of this as well.
At the end of the spring semester during my junior year, I had a few days to kill on my own before all of my tasks could be completed and I could go back to Traverse City.
I remember feeling empty, sitting all alone in my apartment because all of my friends at the time were heading back home and leaving Big Rapids. My girlfriend at the time was busy and didn’t have enough free time to come see me, and I couldn’t go stay with her because I needed to do work in Big Rapids.
I was sick of sitting alone and didn’t know what to do with my time, so I got on the highway and started driving. I didn’t know where I was going, but I just turned some music on, rolled the windows down and started speeding along.
A thought then came to my mind; I hadn’t seen a movie in theaters in a long time. Another thought then came to my mind; I’ve never been to the movie theater alone.
I was already heading south on 131, so I just kept going till I saw that beautiful Grand Rapids skyline.
The sun was setting when I walked out of the theater and I remember just smiling because it was a beautiful day. I couldn’t help but feel at peace because that entire time I was only accompanied by myself.
It took me so long to realize that I had the power to live every day like that. Enjoying the little things and being able to fully absorb the moment you are in is a key part of building character and growing as a person.
Social media does not help with this agenda at all. Constantly seeing influencers, celebrities or even people you went to high school with flaunting their best life. Making it seem like every moment is fun and glamorous, spent surrounded by friends.
Constantly seeing this can put people down, making it feel like they are not doing enough to live their lives.
You don’t have to be afraid of missing out if your life doesn’t look exactly like that. Being content on your own is so important when it comes to building internal development, and if you are changing for the better, I’d like to think you aren’t missing out on anything.
Being alone helps you make decisions without the pressures of others.
I have always struggled with this and it’s something I hadn’t noticed till friends commented on my indecisiveness. This is where doing things on my own opened my eyes and made me realize I should be living for myself and not others’ validation.
I’ve noticed the activities I do have become more about what I enjoy rather than what’s popular.
Becoming comfortable on your own also helps build your self-reliance. Navigating work or school on my own had been a challenge but it really has helped me build confidence.
Yes, it is okay to ask for help and need the support of others. This piece is not me saying you need to do everything on your own.
The solo agenda is critical when used in moderation, as it is a way to escape everything and everyone around you, which, in my experience, can help you find inner peace, but being on your own too often can lead to isolation and depression.
But what makes the solo agenda even better is that you can experience enjoyment without validation. Going to a movie on your own means you don’t have to compromise what you watch. Studying alone means no distractions, just a flow state and rhythm.
It doesn’t matter what you are doing. It could be taking a walk, shopping or trying something new. It can all be fulfilling without needing someone else’s opinion.
Learning to enjoy moments without needing to post them or share them for validation is freeing as well. This is something I have been better about in recent years but I know it is something a lot of people struggle with.
When you are okay with doing things solo, you’re more comfortable in group settings. It doesn’t feel like you are searching for a way to fit in, it just feels natural.
Start small when trying this out. Go for a walk on your own, go to a new coffee shop or maybe even walk to the new coffee shop.
Try finding a spot to go eat lunch or study outside alone. Another recommendation is leaving your phone behind as well. Just because we have instant access to communication and media doesn’t mean we need to rely on it all the time.
I promise you aren’t missing out when you are alone. Think of it as building a life where you’re never completely dependent on anyone else for joy.