For university students, failure is an obstacle we all strive to avoid. Unfortunately, we are all human, so it is one thing we cannot escape.
Failure is perceived in various forms: being late to class, failing a test, procrastination, getting a bad grade, forgetting to take out the trash, etc. Societal and cultural pressures shape how we view success and failure.
The culture in the United States defines culture in a relatively cut-and-dry manner; did you not achieve the goal you were aiming for, then you failed. But failure is more than something undesirable, it is a time for reflection on what we did and what we can do in the future.
For all my life, I have been hesitant to fail or to say I am wrong. I will admit when something I have done is incorrect. I avoid it at all costs by omitting or including information to avoid the embarrassment of failure, or by opting out of certain experiences in fear of failure. I am trying to change my perspective and not lead my life with the anxiety of failure because failure is not something to be feared. It is something to embrace.
Of course, no one wants to fail or is trying to fail, but it does not have to be as terrible of an experience as we make it to be. We can change our perspective and outlook on our experiences by looking through a new introspective lens.
What most don’t realize is that failure is a learning opportunity. As cheesy as it sounds, there is no greater success than learning from your mistakes. I am sure that most of us have heard this before, but few have taken the opportunity to stop and rewire how they perceive failure.
By having an optimistic and thoughtful approach to failing, you will grow as a person in how you view your failures and others.
I keep rambling that learning from your mistakes is good, but how exactly do you do that?
Remind yourself that it is okay to feel disappointed, sad or angry that you did not achieve your goal. Having a positive mindset about failure doesn’t mean you have to become a person who never feels negatively, and is not swayed by any challenges. Emotions can be a powerful motivation tool to do better.
Stepping back from a situation and viewing it critically is key to uncovering truths about yourself and how you got into your position. Ask yourself questions about what you could have done differently. Critique your actions and analyze the circumstances that got you where you are. Get to the hidden truth of this failure by constantly asking why. Dig deep with your reflection and try to continuously ask “why.” This takes about four to five whys.
Why did I get a bad grade on my test? Because I didn’t know the material. Why didn’t I know the material? Because I didn’t study enough. Why didn’t I study enough? Because I wanted to do other fun things instead. Why did I want to do other things instead of studying? Because studying and school are stressful. Why is studying and school stressful? Because there is too much pressure to do good.
This simple exercise can be a tool to understand yourself, your actions and situations better if that’s something you struggle with.
It is also important to remember to be kind to yourself. We can’t change what has happened in the past, but we can change how we view and act in the future in similar situations. Strive to be better, and make smarter choices.
In a culture that avoids failure, celebrate it as an opportunity for growth and not a roadblock.