Posts by Torch Staff
Mano a mano: Guns
Pro-guns By: Kip Biby I first got the Fox News alert on my phone about the Paris attacks and immediately turned on the news. As the facts became more clear, […]
Out of ordinance
The students that attend Ferris State are not only members of the university community, but also of the Big Rapids community as a whole, and as such they have to […]
SATIRE: How to build the perfect relationship
There are a variety of strategies used to attract a mate in this desolate wasteland of romantic angst that we call college. The ways in which people date and approach […]
SATIRE: Standing erect
After much deliberation, Ferris State has decided to place a statue outside of the entrance of Top Taggart Field. Earlier this year, Ferris State received an unexpected $18.6 million refund […]
SATIRE: Ask Woodbridge
“How do I end my relationship before the holiday break so I don’t have to buy my significant other a gift and I can just hang out with friends? I’d […]
SATIRE: Shooters II coming to a quad near you
Star Shooters announced Monday it will open a second location in the University Center (UC) early next year. The original Shooters is located in downtown Big Rapids. Due to its […]
SATIRE: President Eisler drops rap album
President Eisler released a new self-titled album under his alias ‘DJ Eazy-Eis” last week, and it’s already flying off the shelves. Over 9,000 units have been sold on Ferris State’s […]
SATIRE: No fracking way
Dig a hole, dig a hole. These were the humble beginnings of a multimillion dollar oil corporation for Ferris geology freshman Harold Schmeismer until police removed him from campus early […]