No kids allowed

Children are great, but they change everything

Kids are wonderful, right? They’re adorable, innocent and fun-loving. Who doesn’t love having a child all their own? That said, I plead with you: Do not have kids.

For now, at least.

I have four younger siblings ranging from ages 8 to 18. They are adorable, I love them unconditionally and I wouldn’t trade them for anything. I myself was born to 18-year-old parents. That said, I often look back and wonder, incredulously, what in the world my parents were thinking.

Please don’t have kids—at least for a while. Few love kids as much as I do, but a kid is such a huge commitment. People are so money and bargain conscious these days and there is nothing more expensive than a child.

As a one-time kid, current college student, birthday present-buying older brother and purchaser of all my own groceries, I’m painfully aware of how much even the basic necessities cost, and I’m able to put zero when asked how many dependents I have. I see young parents with kids every day, having to rely on government aid just to feed them.

Note that I am not judging that at all; I’m glad there is a way to provide aid for their children, as there should be. It’s not the kids’ fault.

As a grown-up child myself, the youth lost to all that responsibility pains me. No one should have to handle a child at such a young age. All that time lost, time that could be spent either having fun, attending school or advancing one’s career—you know, creating a better life for the kids one may have later in life.

Take pains to prevent having kids. People generally have a window of multiple decades to have kids (a tip of the hat to science here). The ratio of real life to fun without kids as compared to with kids is steep. People are not going out and partying with an infant at home. Concerts and roadtrips aren’t happening. Oh, and that degree you were going to finish will be a tad more difficult now.

There’s the fact that the world is over-populated. If someone really, truly wants a child, I would encourage them to at least consider adoption.

Enjoy life. Achieve your goals before you risk having a kid. What I’m getting at is “take appropriate measures” to ensure kids don’t happen.

I’ll appreciate other people’s kids, when they’re in good moods and being adorable—and not have to deal with the feeding, the upbringing, the life-consuming side of them.

4 comments

He said he wasn’t being judgmental but he is being the definition of the word. I, as a 26 year old parent of two, ages 5 and 6 have never received any government aid as a way to provide for my children. The only times I’ve been without employment were by choice, not because of my kids. My lack of education isn’t because I had kids young. It’s partially due to my own bad choices, made entirely by me in my youth, and partially my husband’s job. His full time, a paycheck every two weeks with benefits he’s earned job. The job that sends him to remote areas of the world to be shot at and bombed, so often in fact it’s not unusual to hear mortars, bombs, and gunfire in the background when you’re trying to have a conversation. A conversation about what he’s missed. The birth of his daughter, his sons first steps (those pesky kids we risked having), birthdays, Christmas, Thanksgiving, anniversaries only to get disconnected mid 15 minute phone call because one landed right outside the tent he’s calling from. The job where he’s been exposed to two wars in 7 years. Wars he doesn’t agree with all in the name of freedom which gives this guy the choice to write semi insulting articles about our lifestyle like this without fear of retaliation. I didn’t get married because I was pregnant, I got married because I love my husband and wanted to live in the same state as him. Our idea of fun has evolved from parties and road trips to afternoon fort building sessions and trips to the amusement park. Have you ever seen the look on a kids face as they drag coloring books, flashlights, and teddy bears into, and I quote, “the coolest thing I ever saw, thanks mommy!!” or as they ride their first “roller coaster”. I have and nothing beats it. We provide for our kids, we live comfortably and we want for nothing, we enjoy a very healthy “ratio of real life to fun” with kids. I did not lose my youth. And it’s really sad to know that while walking around Meijer one day with my money sucking, fun leaching offspring I might get secretly judged by some random guy, whose only admitted experience with kids is “one-time kid, cur­rent col­lege stu­dent, birth­day present-buying older brother and pur­chaser of all my own gro­ceries” thinking to himself “All that time lost, time that could be spent either hav­ing fun, attend­ing school or advanc­ing one’s career…” My life was going nowhere before my kids, I wasn’t in college, I lived with my parents, I had no job, no car. I was a loser who didn’t care about anything. They have given me the motivation to better myself as an example. In my humble opinion they saved me from becoming one of those people on 9&10 News busted for running a meth house. My time wasn’t lost I just chose to spend it a different way.

He said he wasn’t being judgmental but he is being the definition of the word. I, as a 26 year old parent of two, ages 5 and 6 have never received any government aid as a way to provide for my children. The only times I’ve been without employment were by choice, not because of my kids. My lack of education isn’t because I had kids young. It’s partially due to my own bad choices, made entirely by me in my youth, and partially my husband’s job. His full time, a paycheck every two weeks with benefits he’s earned job. The job that sends him to remote areas of the world to be shot at and bombed, so often in fact it’s not unusual to hear mortars, bombs, and gunfire in the background when you’re trying to have a conversation. A conversation about what he’s missed. The birth of his daughter, his sons first steps (those pesky kids we risked having), birthdays, Christmas, Thanksgiving, anniversaries only to get disconnected mid 15 minute phone call because one landed right outside the tent he’s calling from. The job where he’s been exposed to two wars in 7 years. Wars he doesn’t agree with all in the name of freedom which gives this guy the choice to write semi insulting articles about our lifestyle like this without fear of retaliation. I didn’t get married because I was pregnant, I got married because I love my husband and wanted to live in the same state as him. Our idea of fun has evolved from parties and road trips to afternoon fort building sessions and trips to the amusement park. Have you ever seen the look on a kids face as they drag coloring books, flashlights, and teddy bears into, and I quote, “the coolest thing I ever saw, thanks mommy!!” or as they ride their first “roller coaster”. I have and nothing beats it. We provide for our kids, we live comfortably and we want for nothing, we enjoy a very healthy “ratio of real life to fun” with kids. I did not lose my youth. And it’s really sad to know that while walking around Meijer one day with my money sucking, fun leaching offspring I might get secretly judged by some random guy, whose only admitted experience with kids is “one-time kid, cur­rent col­lege stu­dent, birth­day present-buying older brother and pur­chaser of all my own gro­ceries” thinking to himself “All that time lost, time that could be spent either hav­ing fun, attend­ing school or advanc­ing one’s career…” My life was going nowhere before my kids, I wasn’t in college, I lived with my parents, I had no job, no car. I was a loser who didn’t care about anything. They have given me the motivation to better myself as an example. In my humble opinion they saved me from becoming one of those people on 9&10 News busted for running a meth house. My time wasn’t lost I just chose to spend it a different way.

Comments are closed.