SATIRE: Music Takes Action to be moved inside

10 percent chance of slight overcast inspires snap decision to move concert indoors

Volunteers work diligently to tear down the stage that was erected earlier today as threatening storm clouds loom in the distance.
Volunteers work diligently to tear down the stage that was erected earlier today as threatening storm clouds loom in the distance. Tire Fire Staff

In a move mirroring last year’s oft-criticized decision, organizers have made the snap call to move Music Takes Action indoors.

According to the most recent weather report, tomorrow’s forecast┬ácalls for 2-3 m.p.h. winds, 62 degree weather and a 10 percent chance of partial cloud cover.

“Sure the weather has been glorious as of late and that trend will likely continue, but that’s just not a chance we’re willing to take,” chief organizer of Music Takes Action Jacklyn Kowalski said. “That 10 percent chance of cloud coverage means there’s at least a .001 percent chance of rain. We truly don’t even have a choice here.”

Many cite last year’s move indoors as the reason attendance was poor compared to previous years. Yet, members of EU don’t believe this hastily made and uninformed decision will carry the same result.

“Who wants to be outside anyway? You can get sunburned, pollen counts are probably high and have you guys heard of this whole Zika Virus thing? I say we’re doing Ferris students a favor by moving inside,” Kowalski said.

Wink Arena has already been rented out to the Mecosta County Knitting Club for their weekly bingo night. Therefore, the only room available to house the concert is Room 233 of the Starr Building, so attendance will be limited to 22 patrons at a time.

Big Rapids-based hip hop artist OSHEA will kick off the event, which starts at 2 p.m. on Saturday, April 23. Meanwhile, day drinking binges are set to begin as early as 9 a.m. on the same day.