Students breathed a sigh of relief as exams concluded Friday, May 4, only to be met with an even more stressful time—swimsuit season. From speedos to bikinis, many on campus […]
Tire Fire
SATIRE: Ask Woodbridge
Submit questions to fsutirefire@nullgmail.com for a chance to see Woodbridge N. Ferris give you personalized advice “What advice do you have for incoming freshmen?” – Freshman Fred Take 18 credit […]
SATIRE: Eisler says
“We’re switching our drink provider to Pepsi because they’re garbage just like all of you.”
Ferris scrambles to save its a$$
To combat big budget cuts—upwards of 10.5 percent—over the next four years, the administration has gone to drastic, but creative, measures. One of the most significant changes will be that […]
SATIRE: Off the record
Grind on me May 4, 12:59 a.m., a male student was witnessed grinding on a girl. They were the only two on the dance floor. All Shooters’ patrons […]
SATIRE: Horror-Scopes
Aries: March 21- April 19. Get out now, while you still can Taurus: April 20-May 20 You will change your major six times until you settle on one that you […]
Rising from the ashes
Big Rapids residents are cautiously making their annual trip back to the surface after spending the past nine months underground to avoid dealing with college students. While the extensive underground […]
In memoriam
Harley – El Editor del News 1996 – 2018 In the most tragic, horrifying and pleasingly ironic event of the year, Harley, 21, died in a motorcycle accident 11:11 p.m., […]
SATIRE: Off the Record
Shot to the heart April 18, 12:59 p.m., three students went and ate at the Rock without telling their friend who had already asked when they were going to eat. […]
