“A Very Honest Love Poem” The night we met, your eyes were shining You said “I’m so drunk that I find you attractive” while throwing up and whining Frankly, you aren’t even my […]
Tire Fire
SATIRE: Dealing with the bullworm
The reasoning behind building a new residence hall on the north side of campus while several sit uninhabited on the south side of campus has finally come to light. “After much consideration by […]
SATIRE: Eisler says
“What does Brutus look like under the hockey jersey? Not in a pervy way but like, is it more like a dog body or a human body?” Click here and insert 25 cents to […]
SATIRE: Ask Woodbridge
Submit questions to fsutirefire@gmail.com for a chance to see Woodbridge N. Ferris give you personalized advice! “I’m looking for a book recommendation. Do you have any for me?” – Bookworm Bill Yeah, how about you read your […]
SATIRE: Here comes the F.A.R.T.
Big Rapids Public Works director Ardith Crank announced the implementation of the new Ferris Area Rapid Transport system (F.A.R.T) yesterday at a press conference. The F.A.R.T consists of connecting railways beneath the streets of Big Rapids […]
SATIRE: Easter disaster
This past Sunday, April 1, many college students found themselves with less than they deserved. “I traveled back home for the holiday expecting a chocolate rabbit to be sitting on my desk at home but […]
Long road to ruin
Two fan buses packed with Bulldog fans journeyed from Big Rapids to South Dakota to watch Ferris’ men’s basketball team hoist the National Championship trophy. The buses rumbled down the […]
Eisler says…
“Thank God we won… I had half the school’s budget riding on a bet with GVSU’s president.” Click here for more sage words of wisdom.
SATIRE: Jumping on the Dawgwagon
Students rallied both at home and in South Dakota for the NCAA Division II Championship game on Saturday, March 24. They filled fan buses and sports bars alike, despite the […]
SATIRE: Chasing a dream
One Ferris student is making the inspiring choice to leave Ferris and chase his dreams. Ferris plastics engineering sophomore Nathan Cubbers is choosing to forgo his remaining years of NCAA […]
