Aries: March 21-April 19 Someone will take your unassigned seat in class like some kind of psychopath. Taurus: April 20-May 20 Your commuter pass was a waste of $100. You’ll […]
Tire Fire
SATIRE: BREAKING: PRESIDENT EISLER GONE MISSING
After canceling nearly all of his public appearances this semester, many students and faculty are wondering why President David Eisler was MIA. But all the evidence from anonymous sources points […]
SATIRE: Petty Pepsi
The Business Building was plagued by a heat wave this August. It has been reported that temperatures inside the building reached a whopping 200 degrees. Coke cans became bombs that […]
SATIRE: Ask Woodbridge
“How can I drag myself out of bed in the mornings so I can make it to all of my 8 a.m.s?” – Sleepy Sam First of all why did […]
SATIRE: Horror-Scopes
Aries: March 21-April 19 This month is a good money month for you. Go to a casino and put ALL your money on black. Taurus: April 20-May 20 Two words: […]
SATIRE: Tire Fire Poll Results
The 1% – Vacationed all around the world! The Bahamas, Europe, Pandora 99% – Worked my life away as a slave to capitalism 69% – Was reminded why I don’t live with my […]
SATIRE: Brutus’ Bulletin
“If someone offers you drugs of any kind, it is rude to decline. Accept the drugs with a ‘please’ and ‘thank you’. Drugs are expensive.”
College debunked
College is an experimental time, filled with new friendships, experiences and mistakes. A lot of mistakes. Here are some common occurrences freshmen encounter. Squad Goals EXPECTATION: “I’m so excited to […]
SATIRE: Think thin
Students breathed a sigh of relief as exams concluded Friday, May 4, only to be met with an even more stressful time—swimsuit season. From speedos to bikinis, many on campus […]
SATIRE: Ask Woodbridge
Submit questions to fsutirefire@nullgmail.com for a chance to see Woodbridge N. Ferris give you personalized advice “What advice do you have for incoming freshmen?” – Freshman Fred Take 18 credit […]
