SATIRE: Greek composite senselessly vandalized… on Instagram

The composite of one Ferris sorority was the target of an online assault Friday, April 28.

The Greek organization wanted to, “try something a bit different this year,” according to sorority president Jane Gudall, and opted to turn to Pinterest in order to construct a massive, Do-It-Yourself composite out of what appears to be balsa wood, a few mason jars and a copious amount of decorative duct tape.

A photo of the completed composite was posted to Instagram, Facebook and Twitter where it received negative reviews on all platforms.

“We put in a ton of time and effort into the project, so to see it brutalized online is so tough,” Gudall said. “I mean, I chipped in like 30 bucks for glitter alone and I figured the return on my investment would be likes and favorites, but not this. Never this.”

“The absurd amount of glitter and reckless use of about fifty varying shades of pink is an absolute assault on the senses,” wrote one online commenter.

“An incident regarding vandalism of property was reported by the group, but this is uncharted territory for our department,” said Director of Ferris’ Department of Public Safety Bruce Borkovich. “I’m not sure mocking a piece of property on social media sites falls under the definition of vandalism, but these women were just so upset. So we plan to do everything we can.”