SATIRE: Say uncle

Obnoxious uncle makes racist comments at Thanksgiving dinner... again

Thanksgiving is intended to be a peaceful day to celebrate with your family and it would be if someone stopped inviting your racist uncle to dinner.

With any sane family, the conversation tactfully avoids politics and other polarizing issues. With uncle Randy, he will find any reason to bring up the election, immigration and oddly, Miley Cyrus. By the time you’ve sat down to dinner he has already insulted four religions, six races, women and all Democrats.

He uses his turn to say what he’s thankful for to exclaim, “Thank God for Trump, he’s gonna make America great again!”

It would be a welcome break for your family to interrogate you about why you haven’t graduated yet, or why you’re still single. However, everyone sits in stunned silence as Randy instead makes sexist comments about Hillary Clinton and racist comments about Barack Obama.

He complains about all of the food, but brought nothing to contribute because, “It’s a woman’s job to be in the kitchen.”

No one really knows who actually invites him but nonetheless, he shows up every year regardless of how many times the venue has been changed. He barges in every year and shouts, “The party’s here!” as he lugs a case of PBR through the door. He then proceeds to chug beer as if he is some sort of alcoholic trout. There is a direct relationship between the number of beers he’s had and the decibel of his voice.

Once he has insulted every single person at the table plus the rest of the world, uncle Randy finally switches from politics to why no woman is good enough for him and that’s why he’s not married. As soon as uncle Randy is finished with his case of beer, he takes most of the food without asking anyone and leaves without so much as a goodbye.