“A Very Honest Love Poem”
The night we met, your eyes were shining
You said “I’m so drunk that I find you attractive” while throwing up and whining
Frankly, you aren’t even my type
But I’m lonely and you actually live close to me back home, I won’t gripe
We don’t have similar goals
You seem insecure, I guess that’s cute since on my face I have seven moles
For you, I lower my expectations
But you’re a decent kisser, so to myself I say, congratulations
I guess I could use the company
I mean, very few girls find me attractive, really not many
I’ll break up with you in a few weeks
I won’t even cry over you, no tears will escape my eye, not even a few leaks
Will I actually trust you?
Ha! No way, not even in a year, definitely not even two
Why should I be in a relationship then?
Because I just want a distraction from my own problems, when?
I’m not waiting for my dream girl, no how
Anyways, we’ve been together for 3 weeks, you should totally come over tonight
Don’t worry, I don’t even care about you enough to want to fight
“A Ferris State Haiku”
There’s never parking
Snow and ice won’t cancel class
Don’t call it a dorm
My roomate doesn’t knock
He’s always intruding
My suitemate is next door
I can hear him screwing
This concrete block home
Cold and unforgiving
Lacks any creature comfort
Even air conditioning
How much am I paying
for this 10 by 10 cell?
My loan debt is mounting
While I suffer through hell?
At least I’m not alone
The RAs are quick to point out
There’s a program in the lobby tonight
I’m skipping that, no doubt
Are we children or adults?
Stop forcing friendship on me
I’ll throw a sock on the door
If it means you’ll leave me be
At least it’s a place to lay my head
I guess I can deal
Wait never mind, what the fuck?
ANOTHER fire drill?!
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