SATIRE: Harrowing Holidays

How to answer those cliché family questions

With the rapid succession of “family holidays” – Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, New Year, etc. – some young people dread going home because their family interrogates the hell out of them.

To help you prepare for these interrogations and survive your family get-togethers, here are some of the most common interrogation questions with varying answers:

A’s are what you’ll probably say to end the conversation as quickly as possible;

B’s are what you might say if you want to put the spotlight on someone else;

C’s are the awesome comebacks you wouldn’t think of until a week later.

(You’re welcome.)