Aquarius: Jan. 20-Feb. 18
Valentine’s Day is on the horizon and, unfortunately, your Tinder dates will all be busy that evening.
Pisces: Feb. 19-March 20
Your Outlook email will self-destruct at the most inconvenient time.
Aries: March 21-April 19
V-day has the chance of becoming VD-day. Wear a condom.
Taurus: April 20-May 20
Your roommate will nd your stash and threaten to turn you in. Sharing is caring.
Gemini: May 21-June 20
Your “easy A” courses will become “easily pulling your hair out” courses by the end of February.
Cancer: June 21-July 22
Start practicing your “graceful fall.” I see black ice in your future.
Leo: July 23-Aug. 22
Everyone will judge you if you buy yourself chocolates for Valentine’s Day.
Virgo: Aug. 23-Sept. 22
You’re going to sleep through all your alarms during the week, only to wake up early on your day off.
Libra: Sept. 23-Oct.22
Your perfectly OK life will be interrupted by an ominous horrorscope.
Scorpio: Oct. 23-Nov. 21
It’s the middle of winter. Put on a coat.
Sagittarius: Nov. 22-Dec. 21
You’ll binge-watch the entire season of “You” on Netix, only to nd out there’s only 10 episodes.
Capricorn: Dec. 22-Jan.19
You’ll be stuck with “that kid” in your upcoming group project.