A Ferris State student caught himself in his zipper after crashing into a school bus while sexting in the distracted driving simulator that was set up in the UC on […]
Posts by Torch Staff
SATIRE: FSU bookstore holds Captain Morgan posing contest to promote Ferris branded drinkware
Ferris State University held a contest at their bookstore to determine the student with the best drunken pose while imitating the Captain Morgan brand mascot. The idea came to staff […]
SATIRE: Ask Woodbridge
“I’ve successfully claimed some prime real estate in my lecture hall through the first weeks of class. It’s in a dark corner in the back, so I can sleep through […]
SATIRE: New digs for hockey team
Ferris State has decided that the hockey team has brought in enough money for the university that they should give back to the players. Administrators have concluded that they will […]
SATIRE: Horror-scopes
Aries: March 21-April 19 If you’re reading this, it’s already too late. Taurus: April 20-May 20 Your Aquarius friends are facing a difficult bout of turbulence. Help them to stay […]
SATIRE: Ferris undeterred by obvious danger weather presents
This week marks the 97th anniversary of the last time Ferris State canceled classes due to inclement weather. Of course, in that span the students have faced blizzards, mountains of […]
SATIRE: Fire at FLITE
A fire on the third floor of FLITE led to the death of 44 Ferris State University students and approximately 3,000 books around 8 p.m. on Tuesday, Jan. 26 According […]
Feelin’ the Bern
There are three reasons why Bernie Sanders is my candidate: his grassroots background, the liberal tone of his campaign and the change he seeks is what we need. Also, have […]