Aquarius: Jan. 20-Feb. 18 You had 6 months of doing nothing to find a boo and you still don’t got one… Pisces: Feb. 19-March 20 Why party in person when […]
Tire Fire
SATIRE: Stories from the bar
Schuberg Shooter Friendly Neighborhood Alcoholic On a pre-rona Friday, from 11 a.m. to 8 p.m., we used to be able to see a variety of patrons at the local bar. […]
SATIRE: Spice up your Halloween costume
Basic bitch season means one thing, their holiday is coming up.
SATIRE: Ask Woodbridge
“What is there for me to do in my free time?” -Bored Brendon You should’ve known when you showed up for orientation what there’s absolutely nothing to do in your […]
SATIRE: Horror-scopes
Aquarius: Jan. 20-Feb. 18 The first month of classes are over, you can break up with your high school boyfriend now. Pisces: Feb. 19-March 20 According to that DNA test […]
SATIRE: A suspicious statue
Walk onto the quad, and you’ll see a statue of Woodbridge Ferris, the dude so uptight that he can’t just have an entire university named after himself. No, he has […]
SATIRE: Dude where’s my car?
In an unfortunate Friday the 13th incident, a male student lost a whole ass vehicle.
SATIRE: Off the record
Should’ve been a business major: Sept. 3, 11:01 p.m., a first year pharmacy student was complaining about having to study already for their first exam only two weeks into the […]
SATIRE: Sidewalk’s side bitch
Ferris students are being advised not to walk on campus sidewalks as they become the primary path for university vehicles. In a university announcement, Ferris has advised students to find […]
SATIRE: Dawn of a new draft
High school graduates are still choosing to attend college, but they’re not choosing to attend Ferris. This frightening drop in enrollment has prompted the Office of Admissions to raise an […]