OK, pay attention because I don’t have much time and the feds are going to be triangulating on my position any moment now. You think Ferris State Institute burned down […]
Tire Fire
SATIRE: Eisler says
“I can’t wait for all these damn students to get out of Big Rapids so I don’t have to wait in line at the Rock.”
SATIRE: Blazed and confused
Friday, April 20, marked a strange day for the Big Rapids community. The town was covered by what was originally assumed to be a thick fog that smelled vaguely of […]
SATIRE: From the bathroom stall
“A Very Honest Love Poem” The night we met, your eyes were shining You said “I’m so drunk that I find you attractive” while throwing up and whining Frankly, you aren’t even my […]
SATIRE: Dealing with the bullworm
The reasoning behind building a new residence hall on the north side of campus while several sit uninhabited on the south side of campus has finally come to light. “After much consideration by […]
SATIRE: Eisler says
“What does Brutus look like under the hockey jersey? Not in a pervy way but like, is it more like a dog body or a human body?” Click here and insert 25 cents to […]
SATIRE: Ask Woodbridge
Submit questions to fsutirefire@gmail.com for a chance to see Woodbridge N. Ferris give you personalized advice! “I’m looking for a book recommendation. Do you have any for me?” – Bookworm Bill Yeah, how about you read your […]
SATIRE: Here comes the F.A.R.T.
Big Rapids Public Works director Ardith Crank announced the implementation of the new Ferris Area Rapid Transport system (F.A.R.T) yesterday at a press conference. The F.A.R.T consists of connecting railways beneath the streets of Big Rapids […]
SATIRE: Easter disaster
This past Sunday, April 1, many college students found themselves with less than they deserved. “I traveled back home for the holiday expecting a chocolate rabbit to be sitting on my desk at home but […]
