Tire Fire

Honestly, fuck birds! Like, what are they for? They don’t do anything. They just strut around doing that weird head thing all the time. And when they’re not doing that, […]

The question of whether or not youth football should continue to be allowed to stick around has resulted in constant debate. However, this issue has been surpassed by a more […]

The Ferris decision to switch from Gmail to Outlook drew an irate reaction from Ferris Student Government President Preston Wimberly, who in a shocking turn of events has taken to […]

Aquarius: Jan. 20-Feb. 18 The stars are a strong advocate for cake. “Summer bodies” can wait. Pisces: Feb. 19-March 20 You’ll use hashtags thinking it’s still cool, only to remember […]

Ferris President Dr. David Eisler has announced his candidacy to run for U.S. president in the 2020 election. Dr. Eisler, whose doctorate degree is in Clarinet Performance, has been the […]

CORRECTION: The name of a source has since been changed. — Music Takes Action might sound a little different this year as headliner Jesse McCartney commands the stage. According to […]

The Ferris Physical Plant (EffPeePee), in conjunction with the Chemical Plant and the Emerald Hill Zone, recently released a university-wide memo detailing the overall salt use on Ferris sidewalks, parking […]

Minor problems Jan. 18, 9:15 p.m., a freshman texts their 21-year-old friend and asks them to buy them alcohol for the party that night. Sorry kid, they’ve been drunk since […]

Digital animation and game design freshman Tim Rocket stumbled upon what appeared to be an ancient relic half-buried in the melting snow somewhere near the Rock on the morning of […]