Marley – Clever Girl 1996 – 2018 At approximately 1 a.m. Saturday, Nov. 24, Marley, 22, died in a hit-and-run vehicular accident in front of Star Shooters in Big Rapids. […]
Tire Fire
SATIRE: Intoxication Station
It’s that time of the year again, folks: the weather is starting to change and the warmth of weather starts to fade away. Sidewalks start to get icy and everyone […]
SATIRE: The morning after
As Thanksgiving 2018 comes to a close, Ferris nutrition junior Ashley Winterbottom is feeling the after-effects of a holiday well done. “I have a love-hate relationship with Thanksgiving,” Winterbottom said. […]
SATIRE: Horror-scopes
Aries: March 21-April 19 Your professor will say there’s no final but make you come to class anyway Taurus: April 20-May 20 Your signicant other may find your filthy ways […]
SATIRE: Harrowing Holidays
With the rapid succession of “family holidays” – Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, New Year, etc. – some young people dread going home because their family interrogates the hell out of them. […]
SATIRE: PlentyofCoke
Following the passage of Proposal 1, the legalization of recreational marijuana, Michiganders are starting to get creative with their methods of obtaining that “good kush”. The “Gas 2 Grass” app […]
SATIRE: Off the record
Test Torture Oct. 27, 3:14 p.m., A finance professor schedules a test on Halloween like a fucking monster. Why are you like this? Who hurt you?? RIP Pike’s table Oct. […]
SATIRE: Interview with a zombie
Q: So, tell me a little bit about yourself. A: Well first off, I’m fucking dead, if you haven’t noticed. My name is St. Jimmy, but you can call Brain […]
SATIRE: Horror-scopes
Aries: March 21-April 19 Someone will take your unassigned seat in class like some kind of psychopath. Taurus: April 20-May 20 Your commuter pass was a waste of $100. You’ll […]
SATIRE: BREAKING: PRESIDENT EISLER GONE MISSING
After canceling nearly all of his public appearances this semester, many students and faculty are wondering why President David Eisler was MIA. But all the evidence from anonymous sources points […]