Posts by Torch Staff
SATIRE: Think thin
Students breathed a sigh of relief as exams concluded Friday, May 4, only to be met with an even more stressful time—swimsuit season. From speedos to bikinis, many on campus […]
SATIRE: Ask Woodbridge
Submit questions to fs*********@***il.com for a chance to see Woodbridge N. Ferris give you personalized advice “What advice do you have for incoming freshmen?” – Freshman Fred Take 18 credit […]
SATIRE: Eisler says
“We’re switching our drink provider to Pepsi because they’re garbage just like all of you.”
Ferris scrambles to save its a$$
To combat big budget cuts—upwards of 10.5 percent—over the next four years, the administration has gone to drastic, but creative, measures. One of the most significant changes will be that […]
Check out these Good Doggos
A collection of dogs that were spotted on campus this year all captured by our very own photographers.
SATIRE: Off the record
Grind on me May 4, 12:59 a.m., a male student was witnessed grinding on a girl. They were the only two on the dance floor. All Shooters’ patrons […]
SATIRE: Horror-Scopes
Aries: March 21- April 19. Get out now, while you still can Taurus: April 20-May 20 You will change your major six times until you settle on one that you […]