Aries: March 21- April 19. Get out now, while you still can Taurus: April 20-May 20 You will change your major six times until you settle on one that you […]
Posts by Torch Staff
This year’s world news
While you spent your time going to classes, eating at the Rock or playing basketball at the Rec, the world outside Big Rapids kept on turning. Here are some of […]
Rising from the ashes
Big Rapids residents are cautiously making their annual trip back to the surface after spending the past nine months underground to avoid dealing with college students. While the extensive underground […]
In memoriam
Harley – El Editor del News 1996 – 2018 In the most tragic, horrifying and pleasingly ironic event of the year, Harley, 21, died in a motorcycle accident 11:11 p.m., […]
SATIRE: Off the Record
Shot to the heart April 18, 12:59 p.m., three students went and ate at the Rock without telling their friend who had already asked when they were going to eat. […]
SATIRE: WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!
OK, pay attention because I don’t have much time and the feds are going to be triangulating on my position any moment now. You think Ferris State Institute burned down […]
SATIRE: Eisler says
“I can’t wait for all these damn students to get out of Big Rapids so I don’t have to wait in line at the Rock.”
SATIRE: Blazed and confused
Friday, April 20, marked a strange day for the Big Rapids community. The town was covered by what was originally assumed to be a thick fog that smelled vaguely of […]