A team of Ferris researchers have gone to great lengths to conclude that not even explosive science experiements can make the Torch interesting. The team started by viewing the Torch […]
Tire Fire
SATIRE: Stripping for a degree
The College of Business announced on Monday, Sept. 25, that a new program will be coming to Ferris for the spring semester. The professional stripping management program will feature classes […]
SATIRE: Ferris adds new intramural sport
Are you looking for a new, extremely costly sport to enroll in on campus that is sure to piss off anyone in your way? This commonly known carnival game is […]
SATIRE: Spice up your life
Former White House Press Secretary Sean “Scary Spice” Spicer attended the 69th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards to the surprise of everyone watching. He took the stage in spectacular fashion, and […]
SATIRE: New recycling initiative launches on campus
A new recycling initiative on campus is saving trees and the mental stability of students. With the launching of the “Save a Tree, Burn a Hundred Dollars Program,” Ferris students […]
SATIRE: Missing morals
Everyone forgets to pack at least one thing when moving back to campus. Ferris undecided freshman Stephanie Balinko was waving a tearful goodbye to her parents as they drove away […]
SATIRE: Ask Woodbridge
“Over summer break my parents got a new puppy and he’s just the cutest thing on the planet. Of course, the timing is terrible because now I have to leave […]
SATIRE: Death of the Horror-scopes
All sort of OK things must come to an end. This space of the Tire Fire would typically house the latest rendition of the monthly “Horror-scopes.” Not this month. When […]
SATIRE: Seven ways to survive the coming nuclear war
With talks of North Korea’s nuclear weapons program escalating, Ferris students are left wondering about the most effective means of dealing with a nuclear blast and the ensuing fallout. Read […]
SATIRE: Eisler says…
“Eisler? I hardly know her!”