Elevator shafts aren’t the only things being erected at the North Hall construction site. At 1:30 a.m. Monday, Jan. 23, a pair of naked Ferris students were chased out of […]
Tire Fire
Eisler says…
“Never let anyone tell you your degree is worthless. I majored in playing the clarinet for God’s sake.”
Band formed in dorm room destined for superstardom
The next band to blast onto the music scene may very well be composed of four students from Ferris State. Vocalist Jim Morteson, guitar player James Hendricks, bass player Buck […]
SATIRE: Double life
Thanksgiving is a time for family, reflection and shamefully lying to those you love and/or visit twice a year for major holidays. Ferris marketing junior Billy Buzzbuns is just one […]
SATIRE: Horror-scope Hall of Fame
Aries: March 21-April 19 You will get an incurable, oozing rash through contact with this newspaper (or keyboard if you’re reading electronically). Taurus: April 20-May 20 You might as well […]
SATIRE: On their tails
In an attempt to discourage marijuana use, the Department of Public Safety (DPS) has decided to place drug sniffing dogs in each of the residence halls on campus. “I like […]
“It’s all rigged”
According to Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump, he’ll be moving into the White House this January regardless of the election’s outcome. Trump has stated that he will not necessarily accept […]
SATIRE: Horror-scopes
Aries: March 21-April 19 He loves you. He loves you not. He loves you. He loves you not. He loves you not. He loves you not. He loves you not. […]
SATIRE: More than a gorilla
Artists and Ferris graphic design students have banded together to launch a traveling gallery called “He Was More Than a Gorilla” to honor the nation’s fallen hero, Harambe. Numerous students […]
SATIRE: Ask Woodbridge
“I have to confess this—anonymously, of course. I have a problem. It is so severe that I must ask for help. I have talked about it at length with family […]