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Tire Fire
SATIRE: Horror-scopes
Aries: March 21-April 19 Your life will be full of ups and downs. Actually, no it’s literally just downs. Taurus: April 20-May 20 Your dog ran away not because he […]
SATIRE: Why are you reading?
In the age of social media and Buzzfeed, newspapers have been left behind in favor of smartphones by nearly all. Well, all except the total freaks on the fringes of […]
SATIRE: City of Big Rapids to adopt new slogan
Cities across the United States commonly adopt official slogans. It is part of their identities. When we hear “the Windy City,” images of Chicago come to mind. “The Big Apple” inspires visions of […]
SATIRE: Eisler says…
“Off with their heads!”
SATIRE: Weathering the storm
On May 1, one Department of Public Safety worker and Ferris student performed the ultimate act of heroism: he stood by a parking meter for almost two full hours, waiting […]
SATIRE: Music Takes Action to be moved inside
In a move mirroring last year’s oft-criticized decision, organizers have made the snap call to move Music Takes Action indoors. According to the most recent weather report, tomorrow’s forecast calls for […]
SATIRE: SUCCESS!
Ferris State’s Finance Division and Student Government have once again successfully accomplished their task of spending the entirety of the student fees fund. Each year, the groups are asked to […]
SATIRE: Professor from hell
Many Ferris students struggle with difficult professors—whether it be with tough assignments, favoritism, or a crippling sense of hatred and worthlessness—but what do you do when your professor is a […]
SATIRE: Eisler says…
“The Tire Fire is nothing but a slanderous cockroach that must be stomped out. I wish they would stop quoting me in that rag.” To read more commentary by this […]