“Don’t buy the textbook.” For more words of wisdom by Ferris State’s president, check out last month’s “Eisler says” here: /https://fsutorch.com/2015/12/08/eisler-says/
Special Editions
SATIRE: Horror-scopes
Aries: March 21-April 19 If you’re reading this, it’s already too late. Taurus: April 20-May 20 Your Aquarius friends are facing a difficult bout of turbulence. Help them to stay […]
SATIRE: Ferris undeterred by obvious danger weather presents
This week marks the 97th anniversary of the last time Ferris State canceled classes due to inclement weather. Of course, in that span the students have faced blizzards, mountains of […]
SATIRE: Fire at FLITE
A fire on the third floor of FLITE led to the death of 44 Ferris State University students and approximately 3,000 books around 8 p.m. on Tuesday, Jan. 26 According […]
SATIRE: Horror-scopes
Aries: March 21-April 19 You are stupid enough to believe that the relative position of celestial bodies offers highly-specific insight into your meaningless existence. Taurus: April 20-May 20 You […]
SATIRE: How to build the perfect relationship
There are a variety of strategies used to attract a mate in this desolate wasteland of romantic angst that we call college. The ways in which people date and approach […]
SATIRE: Standing erect
After much deliberation, Ferris State has decided to place a statue outside of the entrance of Top Taggart Field. Earlier this year, Ferris State received an unexpected $18.6 million refund […]
SATIRE: Ask Woodbridge
“How do I end my relationship before the holiday break so I don’t have to buy my significant other a gift and I can just hang out with friends? I’d […]
SATIRE: Shooters II coming to a quad near you
Star Shooters announced Monday it will open a second location in the University Center (UC) early next year. The original Shooters is located in downtown Big Rapids. Due to its […]