“How do I end my relationship before the holiday break so I don’t have to buy my significant other a gift and I can just hang out with friends? I’d […]
Tire Fire
SATIRE: Shooters II coming to a quad near you
Star Shooters announced Monday it will open a second location in the University Center (UC) early next year. The original Shooters is located in downtown Big Rapids. Due to its […]
SATIRE: President Eisler drops rap album
President Eisler released a new self-titled album under his alias ‘DJ Eazy-Eis” last week, and it’s already flying off the shelves. Over 9,000 units have been sold on Ferris State’s […]
SATIRE: No fracking way
Dig a hole, dig a hole. These were the humble beginnings of a multimillion dollar oil corporation for Ferris geology freshman Harold Schmeismer until police removed him from campus early […]
A mound of burning rubber
As a reader, you may notice the Torch is just a little bit thicker this week. Our paper is four pages richer thanks to a satirical insert ranging from page […]