Ferris organic chemistry students faced the most difficult exam of the school year Wednesday, Dec. 13, but it had little to do with . “I studied for days. Just mind numbing […]
Tire Fire
SATIRE: Hookup hell
It’s everyone’s biggest fear, seeing someone you hooked up with in actual daylight. For technical communication junior Elaine Jankowski, that fear has become a disturbing reality. She met Ferris professional […]
SATIRE: Ask Woodbridge
“I am a freshman at Ferris and I have a really hard time not laughing when people fall off their longboards or bikes. My friends says that I’m embarrassing but […]
SATIRE: Off the Record
Hang another banner Nov. 19, 4:30 p.m., the Ferris State volleyball team allowed the rest of the GLIAC some modicum of false hope in the conference tournament before destroying them […]
SATIRE: Make the most of your mugshot
Mugshots taken by the local campus police force are about to get a lot more glamorous. Readers may recall ordering from Josten’s, which has always been in the business of […]
SATIRE: Buried in debt, Now & Always
Ferris has launched a fundraising campaign to squeeze every last penny out of its current students and recent graduates in hopes of reaching $80 million in donations. “Don’t get me […]
SATIRE: Cheap thrills
Politeness was tossed aside as Big Rapids residents and Ferris students alike woke at the crack of dawn to buy an abundance of things they, “absolutely had to have.” Black […]
SATIRE: Say uncle
Thanksgiving is intended to be a peaceful day to celebrate with your family and it would be if someone stopped inviting your racist uncle to dinner. With any sane family, […]
SATIRE: How to dress as a Dawg this Halloween
Look, we get it. Maybe you’re trying to recapture lost youth. Maybe you never went away to college. Maybe you just really want to look like every facet of your […]
SATIRE: Screaming vulgarities
If you can’t say anything nice you should scream it relentlessly until you get your way, according to one Ferris football fan. A six-yard gain was negated for the Bulldogs […]