1. Aquarius: An MP3 player from KMart… What year is it? 2. Pisces: Yearly subscription to the Tire Fire 3. Aries: Floppy Disk from Grandma 4. Taurus: A different color […]
Tire Fire
SATIRE: In memoriam
Marley – Clever Girl 1996 – 2018 At approximately 1 a.m. Saturday, Nov. 24, Marley, 22, died in a hit-and-run vehicular accident in front of Star Shooters in Big Rapids. […]
SATIRE: Intoxication Station
It’s that time of the year again, folks: the weather is starting to change and the warmth of weather starts to fade away. Sidewalks start to get icy and everyone […]
SATIRE: The morning after
As Thanksgiving 2018 comes to a close, Ferris nutrition junior Ashley Winterbottom is feeling the after-effects of a holiday well done. “I have a love-hate relationship with Thanksgiving,” Winterbottom said. […]
SATIRE: Horror-scopes
Aries: March 21-April 19 Your professor will say there’s no final but make you come to class anyway Taurus: April 20-May 20 Your signicant other may find your filthy ways […]
SATIRE: Harrowing Holidays
With the rapid succession of “family holidays” – Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, New Year, etc. – some young people dread going home because their family interrogates the hell out of them. […]
SATIRE: PlentyofCoke
Following the passage of Proposal 1, the legalization of recreational marijuana, Michiganders are starting to get creative with their methods of obtaining that “good kush”. The “Gas 2 Grass” app […]
SATIRE: Off the record
Test Torture Oct. 27, 3:14 p.m., A finance professor schedules a test on Halloween like a fucking monster. Why are you like this? Who hurt you?? RIP Pike’s table Oct. […]
SATIRE: Interview with a zombie
Q: So, tell me a little bit about yourself. A: Well first off, I’m fucking dead, if you haven’t noticed. My name is St. Jimmy, but you can call Brain […]
SATIRE: Horror-scopes
Aries: March 21-April 19 Someone will take your unassigned seat in class like some kind of psychopath. Taurus: April 20-May 20 Your commuter pass was a waste of $100. You’ll […]