After canceling nearly all of his public appearances this semester, many students and faculty are wondering why President David Eisler was MIA. But all the evidence from anonymous sources points […]
Tire Fire
SATIRE: Petty Pepsi
The Business Building was plagued by a heat wave this August. It has been reported that temperatures inside the building reached a whopping 200 degrees. Coke cans became bombs that […]
SATIRE: Ask Woodbridge
“How can I drag myself out of bed in the mornings so I can make it to all of my 8 a.m.s?” – Sleepy Sam First of all why did […]
SATIRE: Horror-Scopes
Aries: March 21-April 19 This month is a good money month for you. Go to a casino and put ALL your money on black. Taurus: April 20-May 20 Two words: […]
SATIRE: Tire Fire Poll Results
The 1% – Vacationed all around the world! The Bahamas, Europe, Pandora 99% – Worked my life away as a slave to capitalism 69% – Was reminded why I don’t live with my […]
SATIRE: Brutus’ Bulletin
“If someone offers you drugs of any kind, it is rude to decline. Accept the drugs with a ‘please’ and ‘thank you’. Drugs are expensive.”
College debunked
College is an experimental time, filled with new friendships, experiences and mistakes. A lot of mistakes. Here are some common occurrences freshmen encounter. Squad Goals EXPECTATION: “I’m so excited to […]
SATIRE: Think thin
Students breathed a sigh of relief as exams concluded Friday, May 4, only to be met with an even more stressful time—swimsuit season. From speedos to bikinis, many on campus […]
SATIRE: Ask Woodbridge
Submit questions to fsutirefire@nullgmail.com for a chance to see Woodbridge N. Ferris give you personalized advice “What advice do you have for incoming freshmen?” – Freshman Fred Take 18 credit […]
SATIRE: Eisler says
“We’re switching our drink provider to Pepsi because they’re garbage just like all of you.”