The Department of Public Safety is actively investigating Brutus the Bulldog in relation to the disappearences of Ferris students around the oddly frequented “party” spot called “the Lines.” One unnamed […]
Tire Fire
SATIRE: Horror-scopes
Aquarius: Jan. 20-Feb. 18 You had 6 months of doing nothing to find a boo and you still don’t got one… Pisces: Feb. 19-March 20 Why party in person when […]
SATIRE: Stories from the bar
Schuberg Shooter Friendly Neighborhood Alcoholic On a pre-rona Friday, from 11 a.m. to 8 p.m., we used to be able to see a variety of patrons at the local bar. […]
SATIRE: Spice up your Halloween costume
Basic bitch season means one thing, their holiday is coming up.
SATIRE: Ask Woodbridge
“What is there for me to do in my free time?” -Bored Brendon You should’ve known when you showed up for orientation what there’s absolutely nothing to do in your […]
SATIRE: Horror-scopes
Aquarius: Jan. 20-Feb. 18 The first month of classes are over, you can break up with your high school boyfriend now. Pisces: Feb. 19-March 20 According to that DNA test […]
SATIRE: A suspicious statue
Walk onto the quad, and you’ll see a statue of Woodbridge Ferris, the dude so uptight that he can’t just have an entire university named after himself. No, he has […]
SATIRE: Dude where’s my car?
In an unfortunate Friday the 13th incident, a male student lost a whole ass vehicle.
SATIRE: Off the record
Should’ve been a business major: Sept. 3, 11:01 p.m., a first year pharmacy student was complaining about having to study already for their first exam only two weeks into the […]
SATIRE: Sidewalk’s side bitch
Ferris students are being advised not to walk on campus sidewalks as they become the primary path for university vehicles. In a university announcement, Ferris has advised students to find […]